The Son Twins
by Nintendoman01
Summary: The classic story of Dragon Ball/Z/GT, with a twist: Goku's twin sister, Son Ukyo! Follow them on their epic adventures. Ukyo is the property of DBSKSUJU101 on Deviantart, used with her permission.
1. Prologue: Birth of the Saviors

_**The Son Twins**_

_**A Dragon Ball/Z/GT fic by Nintendoman01**_

* * *

**Disclaimer:  
**

As much as I wish I did, I do not own the _Dragon Ball_ franchise or any associated characters. They are the property of the great Akira Toriyama, and I make no profit from this story. Goku's sister, Son Ukyo, however, is the property of DBSKSUJU101 on Deviantart, used with her permission.

**Author's Note: **

So, I was on the Internet earlier, and came across photos on Deviantart, as well as other fics, that were what-ifs detailing what might happen if Goku had a twin sister. That played a big part in my decision to write this fic. I originally planned to come up with Goku's sister on my own, but I came across DBSKSUJU101's pictures of Ukyo on Deviantart, decided I liked them better, and asked for her permission to use Ukyo.

Quite simply, this is the story of Goku and his friends, but with that addition. Constructive criticism is appreciated, but **_NO FLAMES_** ; if you don't like it, don't read it. It's as simple as that.

* * *

**\- Prologue -**

**Birth of the Saviors**

* * *

**Age 737  
**

**Planet Vegeta, Hospital Wing**

Deep within the hospital wing of the planet Vegeta, a pained scream resonated through the halls. Gine, the wife of the Saiyan soldier Bardock, was giving birth to their second child.

Speaking of Bardock, he was waiting just outside the birthing room alongside his fellow soldier and close friend, Tora, having rushed to the hospital upon learning that Gine was in labor.

Tora looked over at Bardock, who was looking intensely at the door and cringing at the sound of Gine's pained cries.

"I gotta say, Bardock, you weren't nearly this concerned when Raditz was born," he said. Bardock looked over at Tora, a small smile creeping across his face.

"I guess some of Gine's softness rubbed off on me," he said. Tora chuckled, recalling that Gine had been deemed too soft and gentle to be a soldier, so she retired from Bardock's team and went to work at the meat distribution center.

From behind the door came a crescendo of panting from Gine, which built up into a full-throated battle cry fit for a Saiyan. Moments after Gine quieted down, a second cry began, faint and high-pitched; a wavering _waaa_, reminiscent of a lamb bleating.

Suddenly, Gine started panting and crying out again. Bardock and Tora exchanged confused glances.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" Tora asked.

Bardock was spared the effort of an answer as Gine let out another loud scream and the lamb's bleat doubled.

"Twins?" Bardock gasped in shock.

The door to the birthing room slid open, and the doctor, a Tsuru-jin (1) similar to Frieza and Cooler, but with crimson skin under his white-and-purple bio-armor, stepped out. He nodded to Bardock.

"You can come in and see your babies, Commander Bardock (2)," he said. Bardock hesitated, then nodded and entered the room.

In the bed, located on the other side of the room, was Gine, her spiky black hair matted with sweat and a visibly tired, but unmistakably happy, expression on her face as she cradled her newborn twins.

Gine smiled at Bardock as he sat in the chair next to the bed. "It's a boy _and_ a girl, Bardock," she said. "The boy looks just like you, right down to that crazy head of yours."

Bardock looked and saw that the boy, who was wailing at the top of his little lungs, was indeed the spitting image of him, right down to his wild mane of spiky hair. The girl, who was fussing only slightly, looked like her mother, only with straighter hair that fell down to her tiny waist. And, of course, as Saiyans, they both had brown monkey-like tails.

"What will we call them?" Gine asked. Bardock closed his eyes in thought for a minute, then nodded.

"Kakarot," he said, placing a gentle hand on the boy's head, then placing the other on the girl's. "And Celira."

Gine smiled. "I like those names. Kakarot and Celira, our little babies."

Some time later, the newborn Kakarot and Celira were taken to the neonatal ward. Kakarot continued to cry nonstop, visibly upsetting Broly, another newborn Saiyan placed next to his pod.

On the other side of Kakarot, Celira opened her black eyes, sat up, and looked over to her crying brother. Silently, she crawled into Kakarot's pod and cuddled up to him. Almost instantly, Kakarot's loud wails ceased, and he placed an arm around Celira before falling asleep peacefully.

* * *

**Five days later...  
**

"What do you mean they're being sent off?!" Gine shouted, glaring at a hunched-over green alien dressed in full Battle Armor, complete with crotch, upper leg, and shoulder protection.

"Exactly what I said, Gine," the alien said. "Celira and Kakarot are to be dispatched to the planet called Earth to clear it off for purchase. Even for third-class Saiyans like them, it should be no problem."

"But they're only _five days old_!" Gine exclaimed. "How can you do this?! They're just babies!"

"It's nothing personal, Gine," the alien said. "I'm just following orders."

After a moment, Gine sighed, realizing she couldn't win this argument. "Okay," she said. "Can I please say goodbye first?"

The alien nodded, and Gine made her way over to the pod where Kakarot and Celira had been placed. She gently stroked their hair and kissed them on their foreheads.

"Goodbye, my little ones," she said. "Take care. And watch out for the Galactic Patrol."

The pod closed, and the pod zoomed off into space.

That night, Frieza destroyed Planet Vegeta and brought about the near-extinction of the Saiyan race, as Kakarot and Celira, perhaps the sole survivors of their species, headed off towards Earth... and their destinies.

* * *

**Author's Note:  
**

(1): I looked up possible names for Frieza's race, and found the term Tsuru-jin. I decided to use that.

(2): At least, I _think_ Bardock's a commander. He was the leader of his own squad, anyway.

Ukyo's Saiyan birth name, Celira, was taken from RedLightsRedFights' story _The Bond: Revisited_, which was one of the main inspirations for this fic. In keeping with the fact that all members of Bardock's family are named after root vegetables (Bardock = burdock, Gine = _negi_, the Japanese word for spring onion, Raditz = radish, Kakarot = carrot), Celira is for celeriac, a celery-like root vegetable.

Also, I've assigned mental VAs to the characters, mostly retaining the Funimation actors with some exceptions. Kid Goku and Kid/Teen Gohan (who will appear later in the fic) are "voiced" by their original English VA, Stephanie Nadolny, while Ukyo is "voiced" by Alexis Tipton (Outer Moka in Rosario + Vampire, Sun Seto in My Bride is a Mermaid, and Inori Yuzuriha in Guilty Crown) as a kid, and Colleen Clinkenbeard (Inner Moka in Rosario + Vampire, Riza Hawkeye in Fullmetal Alchemist) from age 18 onwards.

Next chapter: Goku and Ukyo arrive on Earth and are taken in by Grandpa Gohan.

Please R&amp;R. Until next chapter...


	2. Adoption and Tragedy

**\- Chapter 1 -**

**Adoption and Tragedy**

* * *

**Mount Paozu, East District  
**

The pod containing Kakarot and Celira rocketed through the Earth's atmosphere and crashed into the middle of a lush green forest, creating a sizable crater. The door opened, and the two siblings woke up, briefly blinded by the bright sun.

Celira was the first to crawl out, making it out of the crater and a few yards into the bamboo forest before stopping to wait for her older brother. Kakarot, slowly but surely, made it to his sister, before sitting down and starting to cry loudly. Celira pulled Kakarot into his arms and curled her little tail around his, trying to calm him down.

It wasn't long before Kakarot's wailing drew the attention of a figure within the forest. Out of the bushes came a short, stubby old man with small dark eyes and a bushy white mustache, dressed in a martial arts uniform consisting of a sleeveless orange jacket over a long-sleeved black shirt and matching black pants and shoes, complete with a dark green hat that bore a while bauble on top.

"Oh, my goodness!" the old man declared. "Babies? What are you two doing way out here?" He lifted the two up into his arms, and as he did, Celira's tail untwined from Kakarot's, causing them both to hang loosely in the air, with Kakarot's crying ceasing immediately. The man lifted them up to get a better look at the tails, initially surprised, but then he chuckled. "What do you know? Tails! Strange kids. But don't worry, I'm a little odd myself, believe it or not." At that, Kakarot and Celira both grabbed either side of his mustache and tugged, giggling like crazy.

"You're little stinkers, aren't you?" the man asked, laughing. "You should take it easy on me. I'm old enough to be your grandpa, you know."

The man was silent for a moment, thinking of what to call the two, and then it hit him.

"I think I know what to call you two until I find out where you belong," he said. "How about I call you 'Goku,' little fella?" Kakarot, now Goku, gurgled happily and held out his little arms as the man looked to Celira. "And I'll call you 'Ukyo,' little lady." The newly-rechristened Ukyo giggled at that.

"Well, I'm Gohan, and I'm gonna be your new grandpa," Gohan said. "Now, let's go home." With that, he took his two new grandchildren to his home in the forest.

After the first two weeks, Goku and Ukyo's destructive Saiyan instincts kicked in, and they became wild and rowdy, not obeying Gohan at all and trying to break everything they touched.

One day, Goku and Ukyo dashed out of the house, laughing wildly as Gohan chased after them. He realized with horror that the two were headed for a ravine, but Goku and Ukyo didn't realize it until it was too late, and they plummeted down the ravine, hitting their heads on the hard rock below.

Gohan made his way down, slowly and carefully, tears stinging his eyes as he desperately prayed that the two weren't dead. Much to his relief, they were still breathing.

Gohan took Ukyo and Goku home, where they were comatose for several days, to the extent that Gohan feared they weren't going to make it. However, the two did eventually wake up, and Gohan was pleasantly surprised to discover that they were much calmer and sweeter. As time went on, Gohan passed his martial arts knowledge on to the twins, and bestowed upon Goku the Power Pole, a magical red staff that could stretch to great lengths.

* * *

**Age 748, eleven years later...  
**

Eleven years had passed, and Gohan had discovered something quite unusual about his grandhcildren. Something strange that happened whenever the two looked at a full moon. After surviving the first time, he told them that a horrible monster came out during the full moon, and to stay inside when the moon was full at all times. They obeyed him until one fateful night...

Goku woke up, an almost unbearable pressure in his bladder. Though he remembered his grandpa's warnings, he desperately had to use the bathroom, and there was no indoor plumbing in their little house.

He got to his feet and tiptoed over to the door, only to be stopped when he heard the voice of his sister.

"Goku, what are you doing?" Ukyo asked sleepily. "You know we're not supposed to go outside during a full moon. The monster will get us."

"I know, Ukyo," Goku replied, doing a small potty dance. "But I gotta pee really bad."

Ukyo sighed. "Okay, I'll go out with you," she said. "If only to make sure the monster doesn't come."

Goku shrugged, and the two made their way outside. Ukyo stayed alert, looking every which way to make sure no monster was around as Goku relieved himself on a tree. Eventually, he was finished and pulled up his pants, and the two began to re-enter the house when a bright light shone down on them.

Curious, Goku and Ukyo glanced up and saw the full moon for the first time.

"So, that's a full moon?" Goku said. "It's... big."

Ukyo nodded in agreement, and then suddenly everything went black.

* * *

**The next morning...  
**

The sounds of birds chirping reached their ears as Goku and Ukyo woke up. Three things immediately struck them: they were outside, they were completely naked, and their house was in shambles.

The twins bolted up. Their house was in shambles!

"Oh, no," Ukyo said. "Goku, it was the monster!"

The two exchanged a horrified glance as they realized that Gohan might have still been in the house.

"Grandpa!" the two yelled as they dashed into the house's ruins.

"Grandpa, are you there?!" Goku called out, just before they heard a weak moan. The two turned to see Gohan pinned beneath several beams of wood.

"Ukyo, help me!" Goku said as he grabbed some of the beams. Ukyo complied, and the two easily lifted the pile of wood up off of their grandfather. The siblings gasped as they saw the blood staining Gohan's clothes, and realized that their grandpa did not have long to live.

"You... you two went out during the full moon last night, didn't you?" Gohan rasped, sounding more concerned than angry.

"Yes, Grandpa," Ukyo said, tears drizzling down her cheeks. "I know you said not to, but Goku had to use the bathroom, and with what you said about the monster, I couldn't let him go out alone. I'm so sorry!"

Using the last of his strength, Gohan gently pulled Goku and Ukyo into an embrace. "I'm... not mad," he said. "I'm just glad the monster didn't get you two." He couldn't bear to tell the twins the truth about the monster. "Take care of each other. I'm... so happy... to have been... your grandpa..."

Gohan managed one last gentle smile before he let out his last breath and his eyes closed forever.

"Grandpa?" Goku and Ukyo said simultaneously. "Grandpa?!" Please, wake up! Don't leave us here alone!"

There was no answer. Ukyo buried her face in her hands and started sobbing uncontrollably as the realization hit her. Their beloved grandpa, Son Gohan, was dead.

Goku was also crying, and he pulled Ukyo into a hug. Ukyo returned her brother's embrace, and the two sat there, mourning their grandfather's untimely demise.

Their weeping was cut short as a bright yellow light began to shine. The two pulled away from each other and looked to see the little ball their grandpa had kept for some time, the orange-sized yellow ball adorned with four red stars.

Ukyo stood and made her way over to the ball, Goku close behind. Ukyo picked up the ball, cradling it in her palm.

"Grandpa?" Ukyo asked the ball, not really expecting an answer. Goku smiled slightly.

"I think I understand, Ukyo," he said, tapping the ball with his finger. "Grandpa's still here with us. He's in the ball."

Ukyo smiled as well and wiped her tears. "I think you're right, Goku."

After giving their grandfather a proper burial, Goku and Ukyo rebuilt their house and continued living as usual, now guardian's of Gohan's precious treasure.

His Dragon Ball.

* * *

**Author's Note:  
**

Well, that was rather depressing. But necessary for the story.

Next chapter marks the beginning of the Emperor Pilaf Saga.

Please R&amp;R. Until next chapter...


	3. Secret of the Dragon Balls, Part I

**The Emperor Pilaf Saga**

**\- Chapter 2 -**

**Secret of the Dragon Balls, Part I  
**

* * *

**Author's Note:  
**

If you haven't read the first two chapters before this, please disregard this note. I recently edited the chapters and made some changes. Ukyo's Saiyan name is now Celira, taken from RedLightsRedFights' fic _The Bond: Revisited_, which was one of the main inspirations for this fic, used with her permission.

Also, I've recently discovered online that they are finally coming out with a new _Dragon Ball_ TV show! It's called _Dragon Ball Super_, due out in Japan this July.

* * *

**Age 749  
**

**Mount Paozu, East District  
**

A year had passed since Gohan's passing, but Goku and Ukyo had managed to get by, believing that his spirit now resided within the ball. At that moment, they were bringing home a load of firewood, the two balancing atop two different logs and rolling them down the trail home.

Goku was dressed in a blue martial arts gi with a white belt, red wristbands, and black slip-on shoes, the Power Pole strapped to his back. Ukyo was dressed in a similar gi that was white with a blue belt, yellow wristbands, a yellow undershirt, and similar shoes to Goku's. The twins hummed happily to themselves as they made their way down the trail.

Two monkeys dropped out of a nearby tree and waved happily at the two. Ukyo and Goku smiled at them. "Hi there," Ukyo said. "Nice day, isn't it?" As she said that, Ukyo went over a bump and her log started speeding down the hill. Goku quickly picked up speed until he was neck-in-neck with Ukyo.

"Hey, Ukyo!" Goku said. "Race you home!" With that, he put on a burst of speed and got ahead of his sister.

"Oh, you're on, big brother!" Ukyo yelled, smiling as she sped after him, the two giggling all the while. Before long, they reached their home, a small hut with a pointed blue roof, Goku beating Ukyo by a few seconds.

"I'll get you next time," Ukyo said as the two jumped off of their logs. Goku grinned.

"Whatever you say, Ukyo," he replied. "Now then..."

With that, Goku and Ukyo lifted up their logs and tossed them into the air at the same time. With perfect synchronization, the Son twins jumped after the logs and shattered them into perfect chunks of firewood with one kick each.

The two landed, heads bowed and legs bent as the wood landed piled up into two perfect pyramids. Ukyo and Goku dusted their hands off as they stood.

"Well, that should last us a good while," Ukyo said. "Now, let's find something to eat."

Goku smiled. "You read my mind, sis."

The siblings giggled as they went into the hut.

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

Elsewhere on Mount Paozu, a blue car with the word "TURBO" printed on the driver's side door in red letters cruised down the same trail that the siblings had gone down previously. Pulling to a stop midway down the trail, the door opened, and out stepped a girl around sixteen years old with long blue hair tied in a braid with a ribbon and matching eyes. She wore a pink dress with a purple turtleneck collar and her name, "Bulma," printed on the front in black, with a brown belt supporting a blue pouch buckled around her hips. She wore blue sneakers, a brown glove on her right hand, and a pink watch on her left wrist.

"Let's see here," Bulma said, digging around in her belt pouch and withdrawing a small pocketwatch-shaped radar. She pressed the top button, and the radar switched on. Bulma smiled as she saw what she was looking for on the radar. "Oh, yeah! You're as good as mine, you little jewel."

With that, she got back in her car and continued down the trail.

* * *

**Elsewhere... **

Goku strapped the Power Pole across his back as Ukyo looked at their grandfather's ball, sitting on a purple pillow.

"We're just gonna go get some food, Grandpa," Ukyo said to the ball. "So just stay there, okay?"

"We'll be right back." Goku added. Just as they turned to go, the ball shone a bright yellow. Ukyo and Goku stopped and turned back to the ball just as the yellow glow dimmed down.

"Gosh, he hasn't shined bright like that since he died, Goku," Ukyo said.

"How strange," Goku said, before saying to the ball, "Can you do it again?" The ball, of course, said nothing, and the twins shrugged.

"You can do it later if you want," Goku said as he and Ukyo turned and headed out the door. "We'll see you in a little while!"

The two walked through the woods, contemplating what to eat for lunch.

"Now, what are we gonna eat today?" Goku said aloud. "Gosh, it's so hard to decide. Why don't you decide, Ukyo?"

Ukyo tucked a lock of black hair behind her ear. "How about some fish?"

"Fish?" Goku said, smiling. "Yeah! That sounds really great! But first, let's get a little snack."

With that, the twins sprang up into the trees, swinging through them until they reached a nearby apple tree and helped themselves to the apples.

Ukyo finished one apple and nonchalantly tossed the core over her shoulder. Unfortunately, a sabretooth tiger happened to be passing by at that moment, and the core bopped it on top of the head.

Looking up, the tiger saw Goku and Ukyo munching on the apples, and instantly realized what had happened. Growling, the tiger angrily leapt at them, but the twins saw it coming and athletically flipped out of the way of its fangs.

"Ha ha! You missed!" Ukyo said playfully as she and Goku took off running through the woods, the vexed sabretooth in hot pursuit.

"C'mon! Catch us if you can!" Goku taunted as they ran. "You're almost there!"

The tiger was right on the two, but suddenly they vanished. The tiger found itself running on air for a moment or two, and then looked down to see it had run off of a cliff. Letting out a terrified yowl, the tiger plummeted into the river down below. Goku and Ukyo, however, had managed to grab onto a branch a few feet below. Suddenly, they heard a low but ominous _crack_, and looked up to see the branch breaking.

"Uh-oh," Ukyo said simply as the branch snapped and the two fell into the river themselves. After a few minutes, they surfaced, completely unharmed.

"That was fun!" Goku laughed as they swam over to a nearby shore. Pulling themselves up on dry land, Goku and Ukyo removed their clothes and rang them out before relieving themselves in the river. As they finished, a fish jumped out of the water behind them, catching their attention.

"Perfect timing," Ukyo said. "Let's do a little tail-fishing, Goku."

Goku nodded, dipping his tail in the water. Right on cue, fish swarmed around it.

"C'mon, you little rascals," Goku said in a singsong voice. "We know you think it's a giant worm. Take a bite..."

At that, a giant blue fish swam in and took interest in the tail. Jaw opening in anticipation, the fish lunged forward, expecting a quick meal-

-only for Goku to jerk his tail out of the water just as the fish broke the surface.

"NOW!" Ukyo shouted. Goku sprang forward with a cry and delivered a powerful jump kick to the side of the fish's head, killing it instantly. As the fish sank, Goku jumped in after it and dragged it to the surface.

"Wow!" Ukyo exclaimed. "Now that's what I call a fish!"

A few moments later, Goku and Ukyo were fully dressed and headed home with their catch, dragging it easily behind them.

"This oughta last us until dinner, huh, Ukyo?" Goku asked. Ukyo nodded, and then a low rumbling reached their ears.

"Do you hear that?" Ukyo asked. Goku nodded, and they turned to see a strange-looking creature on four legs speeding up on the road. Unbeknownst to the two, it was Bulma's car.

"Run!" Goku shouted, and the two took off running with their fish as the car swerved, its wheels squealing, and its side slammed into them as it skidded to a stop, sending the twins and their fish flying through the air to slam into a tree.

Bulma gasped as she realized she just hit them. "Oh, God," she said. "Are they dead?" She looked through the windshield to see the two stepping out from behind the fish.

"What the?" the two said aloud as they turned to look at what was to them a monster. Bulma breathed a sigh of relief. "Wow! You're alive!"

Goku let out an angry growl. "So you thought you finished us, huh?!" he said angrily. "Well, you're not gonna get our fish _that_ easy, you monster!"

"Wait, Goku," Ukyo said, grabbing him by the shoulder. "That thing could be dangerous." But Goku angrily pulled away before diving under the car and lifting it up.

"Stop! What are you doing?!" Bulma shouted.

"This is for hitting me and my sister!" Goku shouted as he tossed the car, the car landing on its side and losing two of its wheels. Ukyo dashed over to him as Goku drew the Power Pole.

"There! That'll teach you to try to take our fish!" Goku shouted. "Sneaking up on us like that, huh? Well, we're ready for you this time!"

"Why don't you come out of your shell and fight?!" Ukyo demanded, as Bulma emerged from the open window of the demolished car, a small black handgun in her hands.

"What's wrong?" Goku asked. "Don't tell me you used up all your power already, monster!"

"Not quite!" Bulma yelled as she took aim at the two and fired, two bullets hitting them squarely in the foreheads and knocking them back. After a moment, the two, to Bulma's great shock, stood up, nary a scratch on them.

"Holy cow! What was that?!" Ukyo demanded. Bulma's jaw dropped.

"But... how did... you two shouldn't be alive!" she shouted. Ukyo clenched her fists.

"Grandpa told us about evil creatures like you!" she said. "Your black magic won't work on us!"

"Now it's _your_ turn, monster!" Goku shouted, raising the Power Pole to strike as Ukyo drew her fist back. Bulma promptly dropped her gun and raised her hands.

"Hold on!" she shouted. "I'm not a monster, you two! I'm a human being, just like you!" Ukyo and Goku promptly stopped in their tracks.

"Y-you are?" Goku said. "Really?" Bulma pulled herself out of the car and jumped down to face them. The two jumped back, still on alert.

"Yes," she said. "Of course I am. You can see that for yourselves, can't you?" She raised her hands and took a step forward. "Look, I promise I won't bite."

"Don't move!" Ukyo snapped, she and Goku approaching. "A human, you say?"

"That's right," Bulma said, before adding sarcastically, "Wanna see my certificate of authenticity?"

"No thanks," Goku said simply as he and Ukyo approached and looked her over. "How long is this gonna take?" Bulma asked impatiently.

"Will you shut up?" Ukyo snapped as she and Goku stepped back.

"Well, you look human enough," Goku said. "But you're different. You're thin and scrawny."

"I'm a girl, silly," Bulma replied.

"A girl?" Goku said, surprised. "So _that's_ what you are!"

Bulma was taken aback. "Oh, my gosh," she said. "Are you saying you've never seen a girl before?"

Goku shook his head. "No, except for my sister here," he said. "But wait, you still look different from her."

"So does that mean I'm not a girl after all?" Ukyo asked, looking herself over. Bulma shook her head.

"You're still young," she said. "When you get a little older, you'll look more like me."

Ukyo nodded at that. "To tell you the truth, except for our grandpa, you're the only human being we've ever seen."

"But Grandpa told us about girls," Goku added. "He said that if I ever ran into one, I should be as polite as I possibly can."

Bulma smiled and winked at that. "I see," she said. "Well, what a nice thing to say! Your grandpa sounds like a very wise man! Is he?"

"Well, he was," Ukyo said, vaguely aware that Goku was looking around Bulma's skirt. "He died just last year."

Bulma's face took on a look of pity. "I'm sorry to hear that." Just then, she felt something at her back, and turned to see Goku lifting up her skirt with his Power Pole.

"Hey!" Bulma shouted, jerking away and pulling her skirt down. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"I was just checking to see if you had a tail," Goku said matter-of-factly. Bulma's anger evaporated almost instantly, and she looked at them curiously to see the two had what appeared to be tails stuck to their pants.

"Maybe yours just hasn't grown in yet." Ukyo said. Bulma just gave a toothy grin and covered her mouth.

"I'm sure it'll sprout up any time now kid," she said aloud. _What weirdos_, was what she was thinking, though she was smart enough to keep the thought to herself.

Goku decided to change the subject. "So how did you get that monster to do what you wanted it to do?"

Bulma rolled her eyes. "That's not a monster, silly! That's a car."

"So that's a car," Ukyo said, jumping on top of it to get a closer look. "Grandpa told us about them, but we've never actually seen one."

Bulma looked at the two. "Y'know, for little kids, you're really strong."

"Thanks!" Ukyo replied. "Grandpa trained us to be like steel."

"You were driving a car, right?" Goku asked. "So does that mean you're from one of the big cities?"

"You got it," Bulma said. Just then, Ukyo had an idea as she jumped down from the car.

"Why don't you come to our house with us, and we'll cook you some lunch?" she asked, running over to the fish.

"Yeah!" Goku said, joining Ukyo. "You can tell us all about the city you're from!"

Bulma raised a hand. "Hold on just a second," she said, pulling the radar out of her pouch and checking it to see she was much closer to her prize.

_It looks like the Dragon Ball is right down the road, _she thought. _Maybe it's at these kids' house. _

Bulma nodded. "I think it's safe to assume we're having fish for lunch," she said, smiling. "Well, all right. What's on the agenda?"

Goku smiled. "Well, we can have a bite to eat, then talk, then play together!"

"Now look," Bulma said, a stern look on her face as she put her radar back in the pouch. "If you think we're going to do anything improper, you can forget it!"

Goku and Ukyo exchanged confused looks. "Improper?" Goku asked. "What do you mean by that?"

Bulma blushed. "Never mind," she said. _I guess Grandpa hasn't told them about _that _yet,_ she thought. _These kids are so innocent, they're adorable!_ She laughed out loud at that.

"Golly, girls sure are weird," Goku said.

"Hey!" Ukyo answered.

"I mean, aside from you, Ukyo," Goku replied. Ukyo nodded.

"Well anyway, let's go!" Ukyo said cheerfully.

With that, the two made their way down the trail, dragging their fish behind them with Bulma in tow.

"So, what are your names?" Bulma asked.

"My name's Son Goku, and she's Son Ukyo," Goku replied. "We're twins. What's your name?"

"M-my name?" Bulma replied, apparently reluctant.

Ukyo nodded. "Uh-huh."

Bulma hesitated before replying. "Bulma."

A moment of silence passed, and both Goku and Ukyo cracked up laughing. "That's funny!" Goku said.

Bulma was offended. "Hey, Goku and Ukyo aren't exactly normal, so there!"

"Yeah, but our names aren't as weird as yours!" Ukyo replied, laughing.

Bulma scowled. "Hey, you two be quiet. 'Bulma' happens to be very elegant. It's a lot better than 'Goku' or 'Ukyo,' _that's_ for sure!"

* * *

**Goku &amp; Ukyo's house  
**

Some time later, the three reached Goku and Ukyo's hut.

"Nice little place you got here," Bulma said.

"Thanks!" Goku replied as he and Ukyo set down the fish. "Wait here for a second, okay?" With that, he and Ukyo opened the door to their house, and were surprised to see their grandpa's ball glowing again.

"Listen," Ukyo said as Bulma pushed her way in behind them.

"What's up?" Bulma asked. Ukyo held up a hand.

"Grandpa's trying to talk to us," Goku said.

Bulma raised an eyebrow. "But I don't hear anyone-" her voice drifted off before she saw the ball glowing and gasped.

"Oh, my goodness!" she shouted. "A Dragon Ball!" She promptly pushed the two aside before eagerly grabbing the ball in her hands. Goku and Ukyo both dashed forward and grabbed her skirt.

"Hey, give us our grandpa back right now!" Goku shouted.

Bulma looked at them, confused. "Your... grandpa?" she asked, holding up the ball. "You mean this?" Ukyo promptly snatched the ball back, holding it to her chest.

"Yeah!" Ukyo said. "This is the only thing he gave us to remember him by. So don't you dare touch it!" As if in response, the ball started glowing again.

"Look!" Goku said. "I think Grandpa's trying to talk to us! What do you think he's saying?"

Bulma chuckled. "I hate to do this, but I don't really have a choice," she said, digging in her pouch and removing two balls identical to the one in Ukyo's hands. "See?"

Ukyo and Goku started in shock. "What?!" they said simultaneously. "You've gotta be kidding! You have _two_ grandpas?! No way!"

Bulma shook her head. "They're not grandpas. They're Dragon Balls." Goku and Ukyo looked at their own ball.

"Are you sure?" Ukyo asked.

Bulma nodded. "I'm positive," she said. "Your ball started glowing because it was reacting to the two that I have." She set them down on the little red table in the center of the room. "Look. Put yours down next to mine."

The twins exchanged a look, then nodded. "Okay," Goku said. "But just for a second." With that, Ukyo set her ball down next to Bulma's, and all three of them started glowing.

"Wow..." the twins said, awestruck.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Bulma said, picking up one of her balls. "These gems have the power to do great things. And not so great."

"What do you mean?" Goku asked. Bulma shrugged.

"Let's just say if a bad person got ahold of these balls, he could _really_ wreak some havoc."

"Well, what do they do?" Ukyo asked.

Bulma smirked. "You sure you wanna know?" The twins nodded. "Okay then."

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

Some distance away from where Bulma and the Sons were discussing the Dragon Balls, three villainous figures were closing in on one themselves. One was a cyan-skinned, pointy-eared imp dressed in regal clothing, one was a brown anthropomorphic dog dressed in black ninja clothes, and one was a beautiful human woman with black hair wearing a light blue trench coat that bore red stars on both sleeves. In this order, they were Emperor Pilaf, Shu, and Mai, the Pilaf Gang.

The trio came to a door and opened it to find a throne room, suits of armor lining both sides of the aisle leading to the throne. And there, on the throne, was a Dragon Ball.

"Ah, there it is!" Pilaf said in excitement.

"It's awfully dark in there, sire," Shu said uncertainly.

"Shut up, Shu!" Pilaf snapped as they made their way down the aisle. Pilaf cackled as he took the Dragon Ball.

"Yes, come to Emperor Pilaf, my precious!" he said, just as a suit of armor fell over on him. The visor fell down to reveal a skeleton. Pilaf panicked.

"Get off of me, you bonehead!" he shouted, pushing the corpse off. As it fell back, the skull came off, and bats flew out of its eye sockets. After a moment, Pilaf shrugged.

"Well, enough of that," he said. "I'm ready to make my wish!"

Mai cut in at that. "Sir, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you can't make a wish with just one ball. You have to have the others as well."

Pilaf let out an annoyed grunt as Mai continued. "There are seven Dragon Balls, sire. You have to unite all seven of them before the dragon will appear and grant your wish."

"More searching?" Pilaf whined as he looked down at the ball in his hands.

Mai smiled. "But just imagine, dear emperor, that glorious day when the seven balls are finally brought together. A beautiful burst of energy will light the sky, and in a blazing surge of fiery power, the Eternal Dragon will rise before you for the sole purpose of granting you a single wish, whatever it may be.

"Yes, yes!" Pilaf said excitedly. "I can see it! Well, okay, I guess I can handle a little more searching."

Laughing, he continued. "Any wish I want, huh? Well, then I want to rule the entire world!"

* * *

**Back at Mount Paozu...  
**

Bulma had just finished telling Goku and Ukyo much the same story that Mai had told Pilaf about the Eternal Dragon. Goku and Ukyo looked at their Dragon Ball, awestruck.

"Wow!" Goku said. "That's amazing!"

"You can wish for whatever you want?" Ukyo asked. "And it will come true? I wonder why Grandpa never told us about any of this stuff."

"He may not have known about it, Ukyo," Bulma said. "Not many people do. The truth is, the three of us are some of the few people in the world that even know about the Dragon Balls. Or the dragon."

"Don't get ours mixed up with yours, okay?" Goku said. Bulma held up one of her own balls.

"Don't worry, that's impossible," she said. "Each ball has a different number of stars on it. See, this one has five."

Goku nodded. "I get it! Grandpa's ball has four stars!"

Bulma smiled. "Now you're catching on!" She stood, giggling triumphantly. "I can't believe that I already have three of the balls! If I keep this up, I'll be able to wish for a boyfriend by the end of the month! This is so exciting!" She turned to the twins. "You guys _are_ going to let me use your Dragon Ball so I can make my wish, right?"

Goku pulled the ball back protectively, with Ukyo standing in front of him with her arms outstretched. "You can forget it!" Ukyo declared. "Grandpa gave us this ball to remember him by!"

"And we're not gonna hand it over just because you're a girl!" Goku added.

Bulma refused to give up. "Your grandpa said to be as polite as possible to girls."

Goku stuck his tongue out at her, with Ukyo doing the same. With that, Bulma decided to try drastic measures.

"Hey, I know what," she said. "Goku, how about a trade?"

Goku just looked at her as she lifted up her skirt, revealing her panties and smiling coyly.

"You let me have your Dragon Ball, and I'll let you have a little piece. What do you say?"

Ukyo raised an eyebrow. "What kind of trade is that?"

"Yeah, why would I want to touch your dirty old butt?" Goku asked.

Bulma scowled. "It is _not_ dirty, you rude little twerps!" she exploded, before managing to compose herself. "Well, shoot. There's gotta be a way. The hunt must go on."

After a moment, she snapped her fingers. "I know! Why don't you two come with me? We can be partners. What do ya say?"

Ukyo was interested. "Go hunt the other balls?"

Bulma nodded. "Sure, why not? You two would get to see so many new things and learn so much. Your grandpa would be very proud of you."

That got Goku's attention. "Really? You think Grandpa would be proud if we went?"

Bulma smiled. "Of course, he would, kid. Seeing his young grandchildren that he raised venture out into the world all on their own, learning all about the great cities and crossing the desert and seeing the ocean."

"That does sound like fun, Goku," Ukyo said, turning to her brother. "Can we go? Can we? Please, please, please?!"

Goku nodded, a smile on his face. "Okay, we'll go."

"This'll be great," Bulma said. "So, we're partners?"

"Okay," Ukyo said. "But we still get to keep our grandpa's ball."

Bulma smirked. "You drive a hard bargain, but have it your way."

_Those kids are stubborn, but they'll make good bodyguards until I make my wish, _she thought to herself. _I'll wish for the most perfect boyfriend that ever lived! _

"Well, here we go!" Bulma said as the trio made their way out of the house. "The start of a great adventure!"

* * *

**Author's Note:  
**

As you may have guessed, I'm focusing more on the anime than the manga, since I'm much more familiar with the anime than the manga.

Please R&amp;R. Until next time!


	4. Secret of the Dragon Balls, Part II

**\- Chapter 3 -**

**Secret of the Dragon Balls, Part II  
**

* * *

**Author's Note:  
**

Had to split "Secret of the Dragon Balls" in two because of how long it was getting. Here's the rest of it.

* * *

**Mount Paozu, East District  
**

"Hey, Bulma," Ukyo said as they exited the house, "how do we know where to start looking?"

"The Dragon Balls could be anywhere in the world, right?" Goku added.

Bulma giggled. "Just who do you think you're dealing with here? I'm no amateur." With that, she drew the radar from her belt pouch and pressed the top button. "Look, check it out!" Goku and Ukyo saw the three beeping dots on the screen.

"It's a special radar that tracks the Dragon Balls," Bulma explained, pointing to the three dots. "See these three dots? These are our three balls." She pointed to the other four dots on the screen. "And these are the other Dragon Balls. It looks like the closest one is about seven hundred and fifty miles to the west."

"Is that far?" Goku asked.

"Let's just say that it's out of our walking distance," Bulma said. "And since you destroyed my car, we'll be needing a new set of wheels." She reached into her belt pouch and pulled out a silver case containing several capsules, pulling one out.

"Stand back," she said, before pressing the button on top of the capsule and throwing it. A loud bang sounded, and a cloud of smoke billowed out.

Goku and Ukyo clung to each other in surprise as the smoke blew away, revealing a white motorcycle.

"How did you do that?" Ukyo asked.

"You're some kind of witch, aren't you?!" Goku demanded.

Bulma rolled her eyes as she got on the motorcycle. "Nonsense! Witchcraft has nothing to do with it. Everyone in the city has Dyno-Caps. How can you travel without them?"

After a moment, Ukyo climbed up on the motorcycle behind Bulma, putting her arms around the older girl's midsection. Goku, however, cautiously approached and poked the side of the bike with the Power Pole.

"Will you knock it off?" Bulma said exasperatedly. "Just get on the bike. It won't bite you."

Goku nodded and put the pole away as Ukyo reached her hand out to him. Goku took it, and Ukyo pulled him up onto the motorcycle, Goku wrapping his arms around her middle.

"Okay!" Bulma shouted, revving the motorcycle. "Here we _go_!" The bike shot off down the path.

"This is neat!" Goku shouted over the engine. "This is even faster than we can run!"

"No duh," Bulma deadpanned. "Get with the program."

The motorcycle sped down the trail, Goku and Ukyo laughing with glee all the while.

"Ukyo, calm down!" Bulma wheezed, realizing that Ukyo was starting to pinch off her wind. "You're squeezing the life out of me!"

"Sorry," Ukyo said, loosening her grip.

"Just relax, kid," Bulma said. "I'm an excellent driver. I have things under control!"

She shouted the word "control" as the bike went over a hill and was sent airborne, landing heavily over the side.

"That was fun!" Ukyo giggled. "Let's do it again!"

"Just one more time, please?" Goku added.

_I almost lost it big time on that one, _Bulma thought. _I need to be more careful. _After a moment, she got off the bike. "Excuse me a minute, guys. I need to make a pit stop."

"What's a pit stop?" Goku asked.

A loud smack echoed through the area as Bulma's hand collided with her forehead. "I need to pee!" With that, she ran behind a rock.

"I don't get it, Ukyo," Goku said as he got off the bike. "Why can't she just pee right here?"

Ukyo shrugged her shoulders. "Beats me."

"Goku! Ukyo! Come here, quick!" Bulma shouted suddenly, her voice sounded panicked.

"Coming!" Goku shouted, running towards her.

"Hey, wait up, Goku!" Ukyo called, jumping off the bike and following her twin. As they rounded the rock, they saw a massive blue pterodactyl, a very frightened Bulma clutched in one monstrous wing.

The pterodactyl turned towards them. "Who the hell are you two?" he asked.

"I'm Goku, and this is Ukyo," Goku replied.

"Are you a friend of Bulma's?" Ukyo asked, seemingly oblivious to Bulma's dire situation.

The pterodactyl laughed evilly as he transferred a screaming, kicking Bulma from his hand to his tail. "Yeah, that's it," he said, pulling a long length of rope from out of seeming nowhere. "As a matter of fact, we have a fancy dinner engagement, but the reservations are only for two. So..."

Before the twins could react, the pterodactyl pounced on them and quickly used the rope to tie them to a nearby tree.

"Y'know what?" Ukyo said, turning to Goku. "I think he was lying."

"Gee, girlie, you're a regular Einstein," the pterodactyl said sarcastically. "See ya!" With that, he took off, saying to the shrieking girl in his talons, "Stop being such a downer, baby! I'm in the mood for a Happy Meal!"

"Hey!" Goku shouted. "Where are you guys going, Bulma?"

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE, YOU IDIOTS!" Bulma screamed. "GET! ME! _DOWN_!"

"Gosh, I don't blame her for being upset," said Ukyo, "but she doesn't have to call us names."

Goku maneuvered his tail through the rope and untied the knot, freeing them. The two looked up to the retreating pterodactyl.

"What are we gonna do, Ukyo?" Goku asked. "I wanna help, but we can't fly."

After a moment, Ukyo snapped her fingers. "I got it!" she exclaimed. "Brace yourself, bro."

Goku nodded, and Ukyo grabbed him by the back of his shirt with both hands. Spinning around like a tornado, Ukyo tossed her brother into the air, Goku flying at high speed towards the pterodactyl, his hand reaching for Bulma's-

-only to fall just short. As he began to plummet, however, Goku jerked the Power Pole out of its sheath.

"Power Pole extend!" he shouted. Right on cue, the pole stretched to many times its normal length. "Take this, you mean old bully!" Goku shouted as he brought the Power Pole down with all of his might onto the pterodactyl's head, breaking its head crest. The creature let out a pained shriek, and its talons released Bulma, and the three plummeted at high speed towards the ground.

Taking careful aim, Goku threw the Power Pole at Bulma, the Pole slipping through her sleeves and pinning her to the cliff wall. Goku landed safely, while the pterodactyl fell down the ravine, dead.

"Too bad," Goku said to himself as he looked down at the pterodactyl's corpse. "I really don't like to hurt anybody, but he gave me no choice." At that moment, he heard the motorcycle engine, and turned to see Ukyo revving up in it, trying her best to drive.

"Are you okay?" she asked, getting a nod. "Where's Bulma?"

"Up here!" Bulma's voice came, and the two looked up to see Bulma pinned to the cliff wall by the Power Pole, and visibly wetting herself. "Can you two help me?! I'm having a bit of a crisis here!"

"We'll be right there!" Goku shouted.

With some difficulty, the twins retrieved Bulma and the Power Pole, and continued down the path on the motorcycle.

* * *

**Author's Note:  
**

I'm sure you're wondering, "How the heck could Ukyo work Bulma's motorcycle?" In the episode itself, Goku figures out how to make it work pretty quickly to save Bulma. If he could do it, so can she.

I added Goku and Ukyo's little Fastball Special because I thought it'd look cool.

Please R&amp;R. Until next time!


	5. The Emperor's Quest

**\- Chapter 4 -**

**The Emperor's Quest  
**

* * *

**Author's Note:  
**

So, just FYI, there will be some AU as the fic goes on, and not just 'cause of Ukyo. I'm going to adapt the movies to the best of my abilities, and add in some content from _Online_ and _Xenoverse_. You'll have to wait and see...

I forgot to mention this before, but in DBSKSUJU101's original artwork, Ukyo was actually a year younger than Goku. I altered it to make them fraternal twins for one very good reason: Goku was born just before Frieza destroyed Planet Vegeta and was shipped off there when he was, at most, just a few days old, so...

Due to bathing scenes, and Goku's, er... problem with discerning gender by sight, there will be brief nudity ahead; you have been warned. As my reviewer GameFreakimage said, just because Goku has a sister in this fic doesn't necessarily mean he fully understands different genders. Besides, in the original show, that was a big part of the humor.

* * *

**Mount Paozu, East District**

The sun was setting as Bulma's motorcycle sped down the path and across a bridge, Goku and Ukyo clinging to her back. Bulma was now dressed in a dark blue biker suit with black gloves and boots.

"Hey, Bulma, stop!" Goku said. "I just saw a snake! That oughta tide us over until dinner!"

Bulma shook her head. "That's disgusting, Goku. If you two don't wanna gross people out, you're gonna have to stop eating things like frogs and snakes."

"Really?" Ukyo whined, hearing her stomach growl. "Well, how about lizards?"

"Nope," Bulma replied. "Eating lizards is nasty, too. You're just gonna have to toughen up."

After some time, Bulma stopped the motorcycle in an open field, Ukyo and Goku jumping off.

"This looks like a good place to camp!" said Ukyo.

"There's no need to live outside like savages," Bulma replied. "I have my Dyno-Caps, remember?" She drew the package containing the capsules out of her belt pouch.

"What, do you have a tent in one of those things?" Goku asked.

"Well, no. Not exactly," Bulma replied as she opened the case.

Goku turned to her. "I don't like those magic witch bombs. Grandpa said never to use magic unless it's to help someone."

"Yeah, he did say that." Ukyo agreed.

Bulma chuckled as she drew a large capsule out of the case. "Well, I _am _going to help someone, silly. She's pretty and has blue hair."

Goku and Ukyo hid behind the motorcycle. "What's the matter?" Bulma asked. "You're not afraid, are you?"

The twins shook their heads. "Here it goes," Bulma said as she tossed the capsule. It hit the ground a good distance away and exploded in a burst of yellow smoke. When the smoke cloud billowed away, Ukyo and Goku were shocked to see a moderately-sized, dome-shaped white house.

"There we go!" Bulma said cheerfully as she made her way over to the house. "Now doesn't that look cozy?" She turned to see Goku and Ukyo staring at the house, mouths agape. "C'mon, guys. What are you waiting for?"

Goku promptly drew the Power Pole and sprang forward as Bulma opened the door, Ukyo doing the same with her fists raised.

"Get away from its mouth, Bulma!" Ukyo exclaimed. "We'll protect you from this monster!" Goku nodded in agreement.

Bulma rolled her eyes. "Thanks. That's noble of you, but it's just a house," With that, she reached inside the house and pressed a button inside, causing the lights to turn on. "See?"

Goku and Ukyo entered the house, surprised. "Whoa!" Goku exclaimed. "You made it light, but it's still getting dark out!"

Bulma removed her leather biker jacket and propped it up on a red leather chair. "Chill out. It's a little something we call 'electricity,'" she looked at the twins with a raised eyebrow. "Were you two transported here from the Stone Age or something?"

Ukyo and Goku looked around in surprise. "Wow!" Ukyo said. "This is amazing!"

Unbeknownst to the two, they were approaching a TV set. Bulma grinned mischievously, silently picking up the remote and turning the TV on.

A loud blast of music assaulted the twins, and they jumped in surprise, seeing the image of a man with wild orange hair playing a guitar.

"Oh, no!" Goku yelled. "That guy's trapped, and he's trying to break the glass by playing that horrible music!"

Ukyo grimaced and covered her ears. "You're not kidding about the horrible music part!"

Bulma snickered at the children's naïvety before changing the channel to a soap opera, the picture depicting a well-dressed dark-haired man holding a blonde woman in his arms.

The two on the screen talked about how they loved each other and had waited so long for this as they leaned in to kiss, Goku and Ukyo looking on in confusion. They looked over to Bulma, who was staring at the screen in a trance... and drooling.

Goku noticed the remote in her hand and took it, Bulma too entranced by the soap opera to notice.

"Goku, what's that thing?" Ukyo asked. Goku shrugged.

"One little kiss..." Bulma said in a dazed tone as she watched the screen. "Just one..." The on-screen couple's lips were mere inches apart as romantic music played. "Yes... almost there!"

Suddenly, the image on the screen changed to that of a monstrous lizard that breathed fire. Bulma shrieked in surprise, falling back on her rump as Goku and Ukyo pointed and laughed.

"Shut up!" Bulma snapped, glaring at them. Ukyo tilted her head quizzically at the older girl.

"Are you getting hungry, Bulma?" she asked. "You're drooling."

Bulma turned beet-red before wiping her lip. "_Now_ I'm embarrassed," she said sheepishly, before sniffing the air and grimacing.

"What's that horrible smell?" she asked, before turning to the twins, realizing it was coming from them and holding her nose. "Ugh! Goku, Ukyo, you two need a bath!"

Ukyo and Goku exchanged looks in confusion before turning to her and asking, in perfect sync, "What's a bath?"

Bulma gasped. "I can't believe you're asking me that!" A look of dread crossed her face before she added, "I guess I gotta show you."

* * *

**A few minutes later...  
**

Goku and Ukyo stripped out of their clothes and pit them in a nearby hamper before picking up a nearby towel and looking at it with interest.

"We civilized people call that a towel," Bulma said, holding the shower head and a brush. "Now let's get this over with. Hop in, you two."

The twins walked over, stark naked, the towel still in their hands. "So this is a bath?" Ukyo asked, glancing at the tub.

Bulma took one glance at them and shook her head. "You're supposed to cover up your front with that towel!" she shouted.

Goku looked at the towel and covered up his face. "Like this?"

Bulma pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance and fought down the urge to scream. _Steady, Bulma,_ she thought. _It's all gonna pay off soon enough._

Goku and Ukyo got in the tub, and Bulma set about wetting them down and scrubbing their heads with shampoo.

"Why are you putting this fluffy stuff in our hair?" Goku asked.

"It's called shampoo," Bulma replied as she scrubbed their heads. "And I'm putting it in your hair to clean it. I don't do this very often, y'know. You should consider yourselves lucky."

She turned on the shower head and rinsed the two off. "Honestly, Goku, no wonder your hair stands up. It's never been washed."

"No, that's just how his hair naturally is," Ukyo said matter-of-factly as the two rubbed the water out of their eyes. At that moment, Bulma took notice of their tails, taking them in one hand each.

"How do these things stay on?" she asked. "I thought they were attached to your pants! What do you do, super-glue them to your butts?" Bulma started to tug on the tails.

"Ow!" Goku shouted. "What are you doing?!"

"Bulma, stop it! That hurts!" Ukyo yelled.

"I'm trying to take these things off so I can wash your backs properly!" Bulma replied.

Goku shook his head. "Hey, that's okay. We can wash our own backs."

Much to Bulma's surprise, Goku's tail actually _moved_, winding around the brush in her hands and taking it before using it to scrub his back.

"See?" Goku said. "It's easy!" He finished and handed the brush to his sister. "Your turn, Ukyo." Ukyo promptly took the brush in her own tail and started scrubbing her own back.

Bulma gaped in shock, and then finally let out a shocked scream.

"N-no way," she said. "Those tails moved! That means... they're _real_!"

* * *

**Another few minutes later...  
**

Ukyo, Goku, and Bulma were now in the bedroom, Goku and Ukyo drying themselves off while Bulma sat on the bed, still taken aback from the discovery that their tails were real.

"Guys?" Bulma asked in shock. "Why do you two have tails growing?"

Ukyo shrugged. "I don't really know why. We just thought that most people had one."

"All boys, anyway," Goku added. "It's no big deal. It's just the way we are."

That got Bulma thinking. _Maybe they're right, _she said to herself. _I've never really seen other people take a bath before, so I guess I can't be sure. Maybe they just keep them tucked in their pants or something. How bizarre... _

Out loud, she said, "I can't believe I'm a teenager and I'm just now finding it out."

Ukyo placed a finger on her chin in thought. "You can't really say _all_ boys, Goku. Our grandpa didn't have a tail."

Goku looked up thoughtfully. "Yeah, that's right."

Bulma sprang up from the bed. "See? Normal people _don't_ have tails, or your grandpa would've had one, too!"

Goku smiled. "But our grandpa was a very odd fellow, y'know!"

"He said so himself!" Ukyo said, giggling.

Bulma scowled. "You're the real oddballs!"

If Goku and Ukyo were offended by Bulma's insult, they didn't show it as they put their respective gi back on. "So that was a bath, huh?" Goku said.

"It was... nice." Ukyo remarked.

Bulma sighed. "A bath sounds so wonderful right now..."

* * *

**Yet another few minutes later...  
**

Bulma sighed contentedly as she slid into the bubble bath. "There's nothing like a long, hot bath to melt a woman's cares away, that's for sure," she said to herself. She turned her head to the side, sighing happily-

-and saw Goku and Ukyo standing in the bathroom, looking at her curiously.

Bulma let out a loud shriek and dove into the water, popping her head up to glare at the monkey twins.

"What the hell are you _doing_?!" she screamed. "Can't you two see I'm taking a bath?!"

"We wanted to help you scrub your back," Goku said. "Y'know, since you don't have a tail."

"No way!" Bulma shouted, waving a hand at them. "I can scrub my own back! Now get out of here! Shoo, shoo!"

Ukyo raised an eyebrow. "I don't get it, Bulma. You were gonna help _us_ scrub _our_ backs."

"You two are little kids, and I'm practically a full-grown woman! There's a big difference!" Bulma replied.

"There is?" Goku and Ukyo said in sync.

"Yes, there certainly is!" Bulma said, before adding to herself, "But we're not going to get into that right now."

"Hey, you don't have to be ashamed," Goku said simply.

Now Bulma was offended. "What in the world are you talking about?! I happen to be one of the most beautiful girls you'll ever see, so what do I have to be ashamed of, buster?!"

"Not having a tail." Ukyo said simply, Goku nodding in agreement.

Bulma's features went from angry and fiery to almost tranquil, but still annoyed. "That's it," she said in an eerily calm voice. "Get out of my face."

"But we wanna help!" Goku objected.

"Beat it." Bulma said, her voice a bit more annoyed.

"Oh, come on!" Goku whined. Bubbles started to foam out of the water, and it was that moment that Ukyo realized that they had just opened the gates of Hell.

"Uh, Goku?" she said, tugging on her brother's arm. "I think we better go."

Goku looked at her. "Why?" he asked, but Ukyo was spared the effort of an answer when Bulma rose up in a rage, grabbing brushes, bottles, and whatever else she could get her hands on and throwing them at the two, sending them running out in a panic.

"_I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!_" Bulma exploded. "_GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM AND **STAY **__OUT! AND FOR THE LAST TIME, I **DON'T **WANT A STUPID TAIL!_" One last projectile, a bottom of shampoo, flew through the air and bounced off of Goku's forehead, the boy showing no reaction.

Ukyo looked at her brother. "We really should've just let her wash her own back, Goku."

* * *

**Some time later...**

Bulma, now dressed in a pink nightshirt with her hair tied in a ponytail on the left side of her head, brushed her hair out while blow-drying it. "It's about time I got a little bit of privacy!" she said to herself.

"Bulma?" came Goku's voice, and she saw the twins standing in the mirror behind her. "We're hungry."

That did it. Bulma lost her temper.

"Will you two just get out of here?!" she exploded, before putting the brush and hairdryer down and burying her face in her arms, quietly sobbing.

_Do I really want the Dragon Balls _this_ badly?_ she thought.

* * *

**Emperor Pilaf's Castle, Diablo Desert  
**

Meanwhile, far to the west sat a large castle with several domed roofs, which belonged to Emperor Pilaf. And inside the castle, the diminutive self-proclaimed emperor was enjoying a meal while Shu knelt before him.

"Well, did you bring me a Dragon Ball, Shu?" Pilaf asked expectantly.

Shu shook his head. "No, sire. I-I got real hungry, so I came back."

Pilaf scowled, dropping a ham bone into the plate before him. "Imbecile! You won't get so much as a bone until you bring me another Dragon Ball!" he snapped, wiping his mouth.

"But, sire!" the ninja dog whimpered. "I'm so hungry that I can't even think!"

Pilaf shrugged, uncaring. "That's a good thing, Shu. You'll have to trust me on that." He emitted a belch before lifting up a small green box, opening up to reveal the one-star Dragon Ball he had found and letting out an ecstatic sigh.

"Look how it sparkles so brilliantly, and yet it is only one piece to the puzzle! I _have _to have those other six Dragon Balls!" he exclaimed.

Shu raised an eyebrow. "But, why, sire? Isn't one enough?"

Pilaf pounded the table with his fist before standing up in his chair and pointing a finger at Shu. "Of _course _one isn't enough!" he snapped, causing Shu to recoil in fear. "If I pulled out all of your teeth except one, would that one be enough to chew with?! _No_! If I cut off all of your paws except one, would that one be enough to run with?! _No_!"

Shu just sat there in terror as Pilaf continued. "Do you see my point now, Shu? I can't rule the world with one ball! Can you understand that?!"

Shu nodded. "Yes, I think so. But isn't the world an awfully big place? How can one person rule the whole thing?"

Pilaf composed himself, smirking. "Well, you have to be able to delegate, Shu. And I've always been good at telling other people what to do. Bossing people around is one of my strong points."

Shu nodded again. "Right, that's true, sire."

"There _are_ other requirements, Shu," Pilaf went on. "You have to be able to think big. Not small, big!" He smiled and pointed a finger at himself. "And though small in stature, I think _very_ big!"

Pilaf started to get worked up as he glanced down at his hands, clenching them into fists. "I have all the qualities needed to rule the world! What I don't have are those other six Dragon Balls! You dolt!"

As Pilaf screamed in frustration, a low tooting sound was heard. "Uh-oh," Shu said simply as a horrid smell reached his nose and what appeared to be steam streamed out from Pilaf's back.

Pilaf let out a sheepish laugh and blushed slightly before suddenly glaring at Shu. "Did you hear that?" he asked, his voice taking on a low, dangerous tone.

Shu just looked at him nervously. "I think you did," Pilaf said.

Shu panicked, shaking his hands. "No, sire!" he exclaimed. "It wasn't me! I swear!" At that, Pilaf sprang off of his chair.

"We'll see about that!" he yelled, dashing over to a button on the wall right next to the door and pressing it. Suddenly, panels in the floor and ceiling opened up, and robotic arms telescoped out, grabbing the terrified Shu by his wrists and ankles and lifting him into the air, holding him spread-eagle style.

"Note to me," Pilaf said casually as he ducked under one of the arms. "I must remember to move that button to a closer spot."

"Please let me go, sire!" Shu begged. "I didn't do anything!"

"Are you saying that I would be capable of such a gross emission?!" Pilaf demanded.

"Oh, no! Please, sire!" Shu pleaded, but Pilaf ignored him.

"I'll not tolerate this kind of outburst from one of my agents!" he shouted. "I'm afraid the time has come to trim the staff a bit." Scowling, he ran over to a nearby chest and removed a chainsaw, revving it up and advancing on Shu menacingly with it.

Shu panicked, tears spilling from his eyes. "Don't chop me up! I admit it, sire! I did it!" he screamed. "I pooted! I farted! I passed gas! Guilty as charged! Woo-hoo, did I let out a stinker?!" Smiling, Pilaf lowered the chainsaw and shut it off.

"That's better," he said. "I'll let this one go because you were honest. Just make sure it doesn't happen again. Is that clear, Shu?"

"Yes, sire!" Shu replied, breathing a sigh of relief. "I'll try to contain myself."

"Emperor Pilaf!" another voice, slightly muffled, sounded from the ceiling.

"Hmm?" Pilaf said, looking up at the ceiling. "That sounded like Agent Mai."

As if on cue, a panel on the ceiling opened up, and Mai dropped down, landing perfectly and kneeling before Pilaf.

"Sire, Agent Mai reporting as ordered." she said respectfully as Pilaf approached.

"Well, what's the news?" Pilaf demanded. "Did _you_ bring me back another Dragon Ball?"

Mai shook her head. "No, sire. But I _do_ have some valuable information."

"Is it about the Dragon Balls?" Pilaf asked expectantly. "Well?!"

Mai lifted her head. "Yes. A deep cover agent of ours landed in a place known as Skull Valley. Just before he left his biplane, he reported seeing a mysterious light with a bright glow."

That got Pilaf's attention. "Was the light a Dragon Ball?"

Mai shrugged. "We don't know, sire. He disappeared. We never heard from him again."

Pilaf stroked his chin as if he had a beard. "Hmmm..." he said to himself before turning to Shu and Mai. "Take Shu with you and see if there's a Dragon Ball over there."

Shu was reluctant. "But, sire!" he objected. "I have obedience school today!"

"Never mind that!" Pilaf snapped. "We need a disposable agent like you on this mission, Shu! Now go get me a Dragon Ball."

"Yes, sire," Mai and Shu said in sync, Mai bowing her head respectfully before rising and exiting the room, leaving Shu suspended in mid-air. After a moment, Shu spoke up.

"Ummm, could you put me down now, sire? Please?"

* * *

**Mount Paozu, Bulma's Camp  
**

Goku and Ukyo stared quizzically at the food Bulma had placed before them. Bread, salads, and two mugs of coffee.

"So, this is it, huh?" Goku asked before lifting a loaf of bread and taking a bite, gagging after a few minutes. "Eww, yuck! This bread stuff doesn't have any flavor!"

Ukyo took a sip from her mug and shuddered. "And this soup's bitter, too!"

"That's not soup, it's coffee," Bulma said, sipping from her own mug. "And how do you two expect to grow big and strong if you don't eat right?"

Ukyo and Goku stood up from their chairs at that. "Y'know, you're right," Goku said. "Thanks for the advice, Bulma!" The two went over to where their shoes were, putting them on.

Bulma took a bite out of her own salad before looking at the twins curiously. "Where do you think you're going?"

"We're gonna go get some food that will make us big and strong," Ukyo replied as Goku strapped the Power Pole across his back.

"We'll bring some back!" Goku replied as they opened the door.

"You might wind up being food yourself if you're not careful out there," Bulma warned. "I wouldn't do it!"

But it was too late. The twins had already shut the door behind them.

Bulma sighed. _With all that I've had to put up with these crazy kids so far, _she thought, _my wish better damn well be worth it._

* * *

**Mount Paozu, East District  
**

Goku and Ukyo bounced rapidly through the trees before landing perfectly on the ground, a small red centipede in Goku's hand.

"Wow, slim pickings so far, Goku," said Ukyo, pointing at the centipede. "Bulma could probably eat that whole centipede by herself."

"We're gonna have to do better than that." Goku admitted.

At that moment, they heard a loud droning sound, and looked up to see a large airplane fly overhead. Of course, since the two had never seen an airplane before, they thought it was something else.

"A bird! Wow!" Goku exclaimed.

Ukyo smiled. "That should be enough for all three of us! Let's get him, Goku!"

* * *

**Mount Paozu, Skull Valley  
**

Unbeknownst to Goku and Ukyo, the "bird" was an airplane being flown by Mai and Shu. Mai looked through the windshield.

"There's Skull Valley. It's right below us." said Mai.

Shu looked down nervously, not liking the looks of it. "Can we go back now and just say that we went?"

Mai shook her head. "No. We better check it out." With that, she maneuvered the plane down to the ground, landing on a small rock formation and popping open the doors.

"Geronimo!" Shu yelled as he jumped out of the airplane.

"Shut up, Shu!" Mai hissed as she followed suit.

"Sorry," Shu said sheepishly. "C'mon," Mai replied as they descended the rocks. As they reached the bottom, Mai heard something crunch beneath her feet and looked down to see she had stepped on what appeared to be a wolf's skeleton.

Horrified, the two looked around to see the ground literally covered with all manner of bones. It was clear how Skull Valley got its name.

"I want to chew on one of these bones, but I'm too scared." Shu whimpered, holding onto Mai in fear.

"Let's just make sure we leave with our own bones," Mai said shakily, before a red glow appeared in the darkness across from them, blinking on and off. The two quickly took notice of it.

"What is that?" Shu asked, pulling away from Mai.

"I don't know," Mai replied. "It... could be a Dragon Ball. Let's check it out."

The two villains made their way forward nervously, bones crackling under their feet. Without warning, they heard two triumphant yells and, startled, turned to see two figures spring down from the sky, landing perfectly on a dead branch jutting out from the cliff wall before bouncing off of the plane and landing before them.

Much to Shu and Mai's surprise, the newcomers were two kids that looked to be around eleven or twelve years old, one boy and one girl, both with black hair and eyes and dressed in martial arts uniforms. The boy held what appeared to be a centipede in his hands.

It was none other than Ukyo and Goku, who had followed their plane all the way to the valley.

"Those kids like to jump," Shu said simply.

"They're hoppers, all right," Mai replied, before turning to the twins. "Beat it, kids, before you get hurt."

Ukyo glared daggers at the older woman. "_You_ beat it!" she snapped. "We're not going anywhere!"

"That's _our_ big birdie!" Goku added, gesturing to the plane. "We saw it first, so you two just stay away!"

Shu looked at the twins like they were crazy. "What in the world are they talking about?"

Mai shrugged. "Beats me. But I think I hear your mommy calling."

Almost as soon as those words left Mai's lips, numerous red glowing red dots appeared in the darkness all around them, accompanied by an ominous growling. One of the dots stepped out of the shadows, revealing it to be an intimidation, hungry wolf.

The others followed suit, and soon, the four were surrounded on all sides by a massive wolf pack.

Shu gulped. "Those lights weren't Dragon Balls!"

"No kidding!" Mai said nervously. Goku and Ukyo, however, had a different reaction.

"This is great!" Goku said excitedly. "Now there's enough for all of us!"

Ukyo licked her lips, drooling slightly. "All right! Yummy!"

The wolves pounced at that, and Shu and Mai dashed off towards their plane, screaming in fear. Goku and Ukyo were ready, and attacked the wolves themselves, dodging the canines' lunges and bites and knocking them senseless with various punches and kicks, laughing cheerfully all the while.

"This is it, Mai!" Shu's voice reached their ears, and they turned to see a wolf about to take a bite of the fleeing Shu's rear. Ukyo sprang into action, kicking the wolf away while Goku drew the Power Pole and started bashing the wolves with it.

Shu and Mai reached their plane, started it up, and took off.

"That was close!" Mai said, breathing a sigh of relief as they did. On the ground, Ukyo took notice of the plane flying up.

"Goku, the bird!" she shouted. "It's getting away!" Goku glared up at it.

"Oh, no you don't!" he yelled, taking off in a run with Ukyo right behind him, several wolves dashing after them and dogpiling them as they ran. Goku jammed the Power Pole into the ground.

"Power Pole extend!" he shouted, and right on cue, the pole stretched, Ukyo grabbing on as they were lifted into the air, the wolves losing their grip and falling.

Ukyo sprang off of the pole, letting out a battle cry as she delivered a powerful flying karate kick to the escaping plane, knocking it out of the sky and sending it and its occupants careening to the ground, where the plane detonated into a large explosion.

Goku and Ukyo dashed to the crash site and saw the ruined plane, Goku tapping it with the Power Pole.

"Doggone it!" Goku said. "This bird's rock-hard!"

Ukyo smiled. "Well, we might not have a big bird, but we can still have some fresh wolf."

Goku perked up instantly. "That's great!"

As the two rushed back to the valley to get said food, Shu and Mai were hanging from a nearby tree, battered, dazed, and slightly baked, but alive.

"We're gonna have to report this to the emperor, aren't we?" Mai asked nervously.

Shu nodded, nervously gulping. "This is gonna suck."

* * *

**Mount Paozu, Bulma's Camp  
**

Bulma sat peacefully in the house, reading a teen magazine.

"Bulma! We're back!" Goku's voice came from outside the door.

"And we brought food!" Ukyo added.

Bulma marked her place on the magazine and went to get the door. "They're alive, after all," she said, pleasantly surprised. "Well, I'll be damned."

She opened the door to see Goku and Ukyo smiling triumphantly, something strung across Ukyo's back. Goku raised up the centipede he still had in his hands.

"If you think that appetizer looks good, take a look at the main course!" Ukyo said happily, dropping it at Bulma's feet. It was a dead wolf.

Bulma glanced at the wolf in horror before letting out a loud scream and slamming the door in their faces.

Goku looked at the door quizzically. "Well, I guess she's not hungry."

Ukyo shrugged. "Oh, well. More for us."

Before long, the two had started up a fire, the centipede impaled on a stick like a marshmallow and the wolf skewered on a makeshift spit, Ukyo turning the spit slowly to cook the wolf thoroughly.

"Are you serious about not eating, Bulma?" Goku called back to the house. "This is looking pretty good!"

"Last chance!" Ukyo added.

"You two are grossing me out!" Bulma shouted. "I can't believe you're gonna eat that!"

Goku shrugged. "Okay then. You had your chance."

When the wolf was fully cooked, Ukyo wrenched off its tail and bit into it like a chicken leg, while Goku split the centipede with her. Between the two hungry twins, the wolf was eventually nothing but bones. Leaving the remains by the campfire, they reentered the house, both letting out satisfied burps.

"Oh, my God!" Bulma shouted in disgust. "That is so disgusting!"

"It was yummy!" Ukyo retorted. "You missed out on some good food."

Bulma recoiled at the stench of Ukyo's breath. "You need to brush your teeth, kid!"

Goku looked at her. "Huh?"

"I don't wanna smell your nasty old wolf breath!" Bulma snapped. Ukyo, however, was much more interested in Bulma's bed. She sprang up on top of it and started bouncing up and down on her back, giggling madly.

"Wow! What a soft bed!" she exclaimed. "Goku, you gotta try this!"

Goku obediently got on the bed and started bouncing up and down himself, also on his back.

"You're right, Ukyo! It is soft!" he said, laughing. "I can bounce like this all night! C'mon, Bulma! There's room for all three of us!"

Bulma raised an eyebrow. "Room?" she said. "What are you talking about? We're not sleeping together." She laid a sheet out on the ground next to her bed, along with a large blanket and some extra pillows. "You two are sleeping on the floor." That got the two to stop bouncing.

"Are you serious?" Goku said, sounding disappointed.

"Yes," Bulma said simply. "You're used to roughing it, aren't you? People who eat centipedes shouldn't mind sleeping on the floor."

Ukyo folded her arms behind her head. "No, we don't mind. But I hope it's not because you're still mad about not having a tail."

Bulma lost her temper at that. How many times did she have to tell them before they got the damned hint?

"_GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEADS! I DON'T **WANT **A TAIL!_" she screamed. Ukyo covered her ears.

"Okay, okay!" she shouted. "Man, what a grouch!"

* * *

**Seconds later...  
**

Bulma filled a mug of water from the bathroom sink. "There we go," she said as she began to brush her teeth. She looked out the door at Goku and Ukyo, who had gotten comfortable under the covers on their makeshift bed.

"Hey, guys?" she asked. "Why did you live with your grandpa, anyway? What happened to your parents?"

Goku shrugged. "We're not sure what happened to them."

"Our grandpa found us on the mountainside on a little bed of moss when we were just babies," Ukyo added, recalling the story Gohan had always told them.

"So he picked us up and took us home!" Goku finished, laughing happily.

Bulma spit into the sink and rinsed off her brush, exiting the bathroom. "Did you know you don't have to keep a tail just 'cause you were born with one?" she asked. "Some dogs actually get their tails while they're still small."

"You shouldn't have let them do that to you, Bulma," Goku said, a goofy smile on his face. "You're no dog!"

Again, Bulma erupted. "_I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT ME, LAME-BRAIN! I NEVER **HAD** A TAIL!_" However, she was surprised to see that Goku and Ukyo had somehow managed to fall asleep either before or during her little rant, Goku's arm around Ukyo in a protective hug.

Bulma growled to herself. "I don't know what planet these kids are from, but it's _not_ Earth!" She let out a sigh, before crawling into her own bed and turning off the lights.

* * *

**The next morning...**

Goku woke up early to see the sun shining, but Ukyo was still asleep. Gently removing his arm from his sister, he stood up and yawned to see Bulma sprawled all over the bed, snoring.

"I guess it's not time to get up yet," he said to himself, before seeing that there was still plenty of room on Bulma's bed. Goku smiled.

"See? I told you there was enough room for both of us!" Goku said happily, climbing up into the bed with Bulma and gently resting the back of his head on her pelvis. After a moment, however, he realized something was wrong.

He didn't feel anything below his head. "Huh?" he said to himself, sitting up slightly and patting Bulma's crotch with his hand.

"Strange," he said, feeling nothing. "Where'd you put your balls?" His curiosity peaked, he removed Bulma's underwear to take a closer look, and recoiled in shock.

There really _was _nothing there!

Goku let out a terrified scream that reverberated through the house. Bulma quickly jolted up, oblivious to what Goku had just done, while Ukyo did so much slower.

"Is it morning already?" Ukyo murmured sleepily, before seeing Goku huddled in a corner, looking as if he had seen a ghost.

"What's going on?!" Bulma said in surprise. Ukyo sprang up, now wide awake.

"Goku, what happened?!" she exclaimed.

"Y-your balls..." Goku said to Bulma, sounding horrified

"The balls?!" Bulma exclaimed, not understanding. "Oh, God! Where are they?!"

"They're gone... they're gone... they're gone..." Goku stammered.

"WHAT?!" Bulma shrieked. "You're kidding me! How?!"

Goku shook his head. "I... don't know!"

Of course, Bulma had no way of knowing what Goku meant. She assumed he meant the Dragon Balls. "Please, no!" she screamed, dashing over to her bag and removing the Dragon Balls. Bulma breathed a sigh of relief.

"Phew," she said. "Thank goodness! They're all here, Goku. You must have been dreaming. Man, you really had me scared!"

While confused, Goku decided to let the matter drop, and sat impatiently while Bulma sat at her vanity and brushed her hair.

"My gosh, Bulma!" he complained. "How long is this gonna take?"

Bulma frowned. "Look, nobody asked for your commentary. Besides, you didn't have to wake us up at this insane hour! Early birds. You can have your nasty old worm!"

Ukyo and Goku looked dully at the coffee pot, which was brewing fresh coffee. "Well, you're moving so slow, I wouldn't be surprised if you turned into a turtle." Ukyo said flatly.

"You two can go out in public with your hair sticking out all over if you want to, but not me," Bulma replied, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "Would either of you like a cup of coffee?"

"No way!" Goku replied. "It doesn't taste good, and it makes me feel funny!"

"Me too!" said Ukyo. "C'mon, Goku, let's get some exercise."

With that, the two exited the house, unaware that a mysterious creature was approaching the house...

* * *

**A few minutes later...  
**

Goku and Ukyo exited the house, talking amongst themselves.

"So, that's what you were talking about when you said her balls were gone?" Ukyo asked as Goku finished the story.

Goku nodded. "It scared the poo out of me."

Ukyo raised an eyebrow. "But Goku, I don't have balls either."

Goku let out a sheepish laugh. "Well, Bulma said that you'd look more like her when you got bigger, so I thought they'd... grow in."

Ukyo tilted her head in thought, then nodded. "I can see why you'd think that."

With that, the two ran over to a large rock. Ukyo grabbed onto it from below and, with great effort, lifted it into the air. Her small but powerful arms flexed, and she crushed the rock into small pieces with her bare hands.

Goku clapped his hands at the sight before dashing over to a rock of his own and lifting it up.

"Whoa!" a new voice came, startling the Sons.

"What in the world?!" Goku exclaimed. Ukyo yelped and leaped backwards. It wasn't a rock Goku had grabbed. It was a giant turtle.

Goku screamed and dropped the turtle on the ground.

"Ow! That's a new pain." the turtle said, his voice somewhat dopey.

"Oh, my gosh!" Ukyo said. "Bulma really _did _turn into a turtle!"

Goku approached the turtle. "Boy, I guess this really changes our plans a bit, huh?" The turtle just looked at him curiously.

"Goku? Ukyo?" came Bulma's voice from the house. The twins turned to see Bulma peering out from the house. "Who are you two talking to out here?" The twins looked from Bulma to the turtle and back again, as Bulma noticed the turtle herself.

"Who's this?" she asked.

"We thought he was you!" Ukyo said. Bulma just looked at her and rolled her eyes before turning to the turtle. "Strange. A sea turtle shouldn't be living around here. Aren't you supposed to be living by the sea?"

The turtle nodded. "Yeah. And I'm very concerned about being so far from home," he said. "By the way, do you have any salt water?"

Bulma nodded. "Sure, we'll fix you right up."

* * *

**Seconds later...  
**

Bulma, Goku, and Ukyo stood by as the turtle greedily slurped salty water from a large bucket. Finishing, he let out a small burp.

"Good seawater," he said. "Aeromatic, yet full-bodied."

"Yeah, I think it's an '87," Bulma replied.

"Nope, '86." the turtle replied after a moment.

Bulma raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she said flatly. "Are you sure about that?"

The turtle nodded. "I know my water."

"So, what are you doing out here, Mr. Turtle?" Ukyo asked.

"Well, to make a long story incredibly short, I'm lost," the turtle replied. "It's that simple. I'm lost! I've been trying to find my way back to the sea for over a year now."

Ukyo looked at him with sympathy. "That's so sad," she said.

"But you're still not anywhere near the sea," Bulma said. "Hold on. Let me go check my map. Wait here a second."

With that, she entered the house and exited with a map. "Bad news. You're still a hundred miles away."

The turtle's head drooped. "Great. That'll take me twenty years."

"Gosh, that sounds like a long time," said Goku.

"I wish there was a way we could help you," Bulma said. At that, Goku snapped his fingers.

"I know!" she said. "Would you like us to carry you to the sea, Mr. Turtle?"

The turtle turned to him, laughing happily. "Why, yes! Thank you!" Bulma turned to Goku as well.

"Are you nuts?!" she snapped. Ukyo looked back at her.

"But you just said that you wished we could help him," she pointed out. "So why don't we just take him to the sea?"

"I didn't mean that for real, Ukyo!" Bulma replied. "We're on an adventure! We don't have time to transport a beached turtle, okay?!"

Ukyo glared at her. "No, it's not okay!"

"You're impossible!" Goku added.

Bulma was incensed. "_I'm_ impossible?! What do you mean by that?!"

"If we're so pressed for time, why did you just spend the whole morning in front of the mirror worrying about your hair?" Ukyo asked.

"Fine, then!" Bulma replied. "You two can help the stupid turtle if you want! I can find the Dragon Balls by myself!"

"Have it your way, then," Ukyo said as Goku hoisted the turtle up on his back.

"Are women like this where you come from?" Goku asked the turtle.

The turtle shook his head as Goku started running. "No, most have tails."

"Hey, Goku! Wait for me!" Ukyo shouted as she ran after him, Bulma sticking her tongue out at the three.

"Sure! Be that way!" she shouted after them. "I hope you get a backache, you little turd!"

The two ran on, not stopping. Bulma humphed.

"Man, what geeks!" she muttered. "I don't need their stupid help anyway! I can handle whatever comes my way on my own!"

No sooner had she said that did she hear a loud roar, and turned to see a large T-Rex stomping his way through the woods. That did it.

Bulma got on her motorcycle and sped after them. "Stop!" she screamed. "Stop, or I'll run you down! Goku, Ukyo, I mean it!"

The turtle turned to Goku and Ukyo. "We better stop," he said. "That girl scares me."

Goku smirked at her. "Careful. You could mess up your hair riding on that thing."

"Knock it off!" Bulma snapped. "I decided to forgive you." With that, she revved on ahead.

"What's the matter? Scared?" Ukyo quipped as she and Goku fell in step beside her.

"Me? Scared?" Bulma replied. "Give me a break!"

The group continued down the path, trading quips and barbs all the while.

* * *

**Author's Note:  
**

Longest chapter yet. My poor fingers...

Next chapter, our trio runs into Master Roshi and obtains the Flying Nimbus. Tune in next time for **_The Nimbus Cloud of Roshi_**.

Please R&amp;R. Until next time, everybody!


	6. The Nimbus Cloud of Roshi

**\- Chapter 5 -**

**The Nimbus Cloud of Roshi  
**

* * *

**Author's Note:  
**

I keep thinking that I'm gonna have to eventually raise the rating because of some of the more... perverted parts of the show. Like Goku skinny-dipping.

And to my guest reviewer, have no fear; Ukyo will _not_ end up with Vegeta. All canon pairings will remain intact, and besides, too many fics where Goku has a sister pair her up with Vegeta.. As for who Ukyo will end up with... you'll have to wait and see.

* * *

**Mount Paozu, Skull Valley  
**

The Son twins and Bulma continued down the path, Ukyo now carrying the turtle on her back. Much to their surprise, the turtle's name was actually Turtle; according to him, his parents weren't good at thinking up names.

"I hope we get there soon," said Goku. "I'm really getting hungry."

Turtle looked at Goku, smiling. "Y'know, this is probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

Ukyo smiled at him. "It's no big deal, really."

Turtle shrugged. "I just wanted to thank you."

Bulma glared at them. "Gosh, I think I'm gonna cry," she said, her voice heavy with sarcasm. "Spare me, please. Just concentrate on where we're going so we can get there while we're still young."

Goku looked over at her. "Why are you always complaining?" he asked. "Why don't you try thinking happy thoughts, Bulma?"

Bulma pulled over. "Let's see if there's anything to actually be happy about," she said, pulling out her map as Goku and Ukyo stopped in their tracks. "Hey! Not too bad," she said as she checked the map. "Just two more miles to go."

"Wow, we're close!" Ukyo said happily.

"That's great!" Goku added.

Turtle smiled. "I can't wait to get back in the water."

Unbeknownst to the four, a large, menacing figure was spying on them from a distance away with a telescope. It was particularly interested in Turtle. Drooling, he licked his lips.

"Looks like dinner is on the way!" he said.

* * *

**Seconds later...  
**

"Hold it right there!" a deep voice shouted, causing Bulma, Ukyo, and Goku to stop in their tracks. What stepped in their path was a hulking brute of a beast.

It was a large brown bear with a mohawk dressed in Chinese-style armor, with a large scimitar at his waist. One eye was yellow, the other was scarred and whited out.

The Bear Thief laughed evilly. "Humans give me heartburn, but I _love_ turtles," he said. "So look. Hand it over, or you're dead!"

Bulma gulped nervously and gestured to the Son siblings. "Y-you guys heard him," she stammered. "Give him the turtle, quick!" Instead, Ukyo blew the Bear Thief a raspberry.

"No way!" Goku exclaimed. "We're not doing it!"

The Bear Thief looked surprised for a minute, but then shrugged, chuckling. "I guess a little heartburn never hurt anybody," he said. "All right! Have it your way! Die if you want to, but I'll show you why you shouldn't cross a member of the Kuma Mercenary Clan! (1)"

Bulma scowled at Goku and Ukyo. "You idiots!" she shouted. "You're gonna get us killed! Give him the damn turtle!"

Goku shook his head. "I don't care what this guy says," he shot back. "The answer is no!"

Bulma stole a nervous glance at the Bear Thief, before turning back to them. "Are you kids out of your freaking minds?!"

"We're not feeding him our new friend, Bulma," Ukyo added. "We promised Turtle we'd take him home, and that's what we're doing!"

The Bear Thief grabbed the hilt of his sword. "He won't be your friend for long," he said ominously, drawing the sword.

That was all it took. Bulma let out a terrified scream, turned her motorcycle around, and revved away at full speed.

Ukyo turned to Turtle. "I think you'd better get down," she said.

"LOOK OUT!" Goku shouted suddenly, and Ukyo turned to see the Bear Thief raise his sword and bring it down in an overhead chop. Ukyo sprang backwards, dodging the swipe and putting down Turtle, who scuttled away. With Turtle safely out of the way, Ukyo and Goku turned to face the Bear Thief.

"Now it's just you and us," Goku said. The Bear Thief laughed.

"You little monkeys think you're real cute, don't you?" he said. "You should have saved your skin while you had the chance!"

Letting out a loud roar, the Bear Thief swung his sword at the two, who easily dodged every strike, the two jumping over him after another overhead strike.

"You missed!" Goku said tauntingly as he and Ukyo landed behind him.

"Over here, bear-breath!" Ukyo shouted, sticking out her tongue and slapping her rear tauntingly.

Bulma, who had parked her motorcycle behind a rock next to Turtle, looked at Turtle. "Forget about them, Turtle!" she shouted. "Let's get outta here!" But Turtle just looked on, not seeming to hear her.

The Bear Thief let out another chuckle. "I like you, kids," he said. "Too bad you have to die!"

With that, he raised his sword and slammed it into the ground, creating a massive shockwave that split the ground, only for Goku and Ukyo to backflip over it easily. Having dodged it, Ukyo sprang at the Bear Thief.

"Rock, paper, _scissors_!" she shouted, extending her first two fingers in an apparent peace sign, which she jabbed into the Bear Thief's good eye.

The Bear Thief roared in rage and pain, clutching his eye.

"Yoo-hoo!" came the voice of Goku. Through a slitted eye, the Bear Thief turned to see Goku standing on his shoulder. With lightning speed, Goku jumped on the Bear Thief's snout, assuming a fighting stance.

"One..." he began, his muscles tensing, "two... _THREE_!"

At three, Goku shot his right arm out, his fist connecting solidly with the area between the Bear Thief's eyes. Letting out a final roar, the Bear Thief fell over backwards like a tree that had just been cut down, blood squirting out from the area Goku had punched.

Goku and Ukyo jumped down, smiling triumphantly.

"Well, that's that!" Goku said, turning to Bulma and Turtle, who were in shock at how easily Goku and Ukyo had felled the titanic bruin.

"Yeah, sure," Bulma said nervously. "Whatever you say, kid." Goku made his way over to Turtle as Ukyo looked over the fallen Bear Thief.

"Are you okay?" Goku asked. Turtle got out from behind the rock and nodded.

"Yes. I'm fine, thanks to you and your sister," he said.

Goku tilted his head quizzically. "So some creatures think you're good to eat, huh?"

Turtle gulped and shook his head frantically. "What?! Oh my, no, no! How disgusting!" he exclaimed. "Turtle meat is tough and poisonous! You'd puke!" He let out a nervous laugh.

Goku shrugged and lifted Turtle onto his back. "That's what I thought," he said. "Some people eat anything. Not me, though." Ukyo, having lost interest in the Bear Thief, walked back over to them.

"For such a big guy, he wasn't much of a challenge," she said.

Goku shrugged. "Eh, what're ya gonna do?"

"Ready, guys?" Bulma said. "Let's go!"

"Onward to the sea!" Ukyo shouted, running in step with Goku as Bulma rode after them, leaving the fallen Bear Thief behind.

* * *

**Two miles later...  
**

As the group continued on, they saw palm trees spread out, and the grass began to give way to sand.

"There it is, guys!" Bulma shouted. "We found it!"

Goku and Ukyo stood there in awe at the massive expanse of water before them.

"We're here!" Goku shouted, running onto the beach with Ukyo in tow. "We're really here!"

"It's huge!" Ukyo added. "And blue!"

"And beautiful!" Goku added.

The group stood on the beach, looking at the rolling waters before them.

"Isn't it beautiful, guys?" Bulma said.

Goku nodded. "Yeah, it's incredible!"

"We never dreamed that a place like this really existed!" Ukyo said.

"I was starting to wonder that myself," said Turtle. "It's been so long. Thanks for bringing me back!"

Ukyo smiled. "Hey, no problem! It was fun!"

Turtle pulled himself into the water. "Well, I better get going."

Goku smiled at him. "You sure have a great home, Turtle."

Turtle smiled at the three humans, a tear in his eye. "I never would have made it if it wasn't for you," he said gratefully. "Thank you so much!"

Ukyo nodded. "Like I said, no problem." Turtle swam out a bit before turning back to them.

"Would you mind waiting here?" he asked. "I have a gift I'd like to bring you to repay you for all you've done for me."

Bulma raised an eyebrow. "What kind of gift could a turtle have?"

Turtle smiled. "You'll see. I'll be back soon!" With that, he swam off.

"It's not a stupid shell, is it?!" Bulma called after him. "Hey, hold on!"

But Turtle had already disappeared under the water.

While they were waiting, Goku and Ukyo removed their shoes and went into the water, scooping some of it up into their hands. Bulma followed suit, lifting her nightshirt up to keep it from getting wet.

"Hey, what'cha doing there, kids?" she asked, seeing Goku lift the water in his hands up to his mouth. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

But it was too late. Goku sipped some of the water... and promptly spat it out in disgust.

"Eww, yucky!" he shouted. "This water's salty!"

"It is?" Ukyo asked, taking a sip herself and spitting it out herself. "Ewww! You're right, it's gross!"

Bulma rolled her eyes. "Would it be in bad form to say 'I told you so?'"

* * *

**Diablo Desert, Emperor Pilaf's Castle  
**

_In a distant village, Emperor Pilaf sat atop a majestic white horse, which reared up as the villagers bowed before him, chanting, "Hail Pilaf!"_

_"Make way for Emperor Pilaf, the supreme ruler of the world!" a voice called as the masses parted to make room for him._

_Pilaf waved and chuckled at them. "Thank you! Thank you!"_

"Emperor Pilaf!" came Shu's voice, waking Pilaf up from his dream. Shu and Mai barged into the room, looking terrified.

Pilaf stood up. "Well, spit it out! Did you get the Dragon Ball?"

Shu shook his head. "Not exactly."

"It's like this," Mai said. "There was a slight problem with the information, sire."

"And?" Pilaf demanded.

Mai gulped. "It was bogus! Yeah! We were nearly killed by a huge pack of wolves!"

"And then we crashed, sire!" Shu added. "Some crazy kids took down our plane! It was horrible!"

"SILENCE!" Pilaf shouted, having heard enough. "I'm sick of your lame-brained excuses! Now get out of here and find that Dragon Ball if it's the last thing you do! Understand?!"

Shu and Mai saluted. "Sir!"

At that moment, the sound of a phone ringing reached their ears, and the three turned to see a bizarre, reptile-shaped phone walking up to them, seemingly alive. It was their hotline.

Pilaf promptly answered it. "Hello?" he said.

"_We've found another Dragon Ball, sire,_" came a voice on the other end.

Pilaf's eyes lit up. "What's that, you say?" he said eagerly. "You're kidding! And where is it?!"

"_It's in the possession of a hermit named Roshi out at sea,_" said the agent on the phone. "_He's currently out._"

Pilaf smiled. "I see! Well done!" He hung up and turned to Shu and Mai. "Another Dragon Ball! We're in luck! An old hermit named Roshi has it and no one's even guarding it!"

Shu was still nervous. "Does he have any wolves?"

Pilaf scowled. "No, you dunderhead! He lives on an island in the middle of the sea! Wolves don't go there!"

"We'd better be careful," said Mai. "Could be another bum steer."

Pilaf waved a hand, dismissing it. "Never mind that! Go get me that Dragon Ball!"

Shu and Mai saluted again. "Yessir!"

They quickly rushed to the hangar and another plane, only to be surprised to see Pilaf right behind them.

"Sire?" Mai said, surprised. "You've never come with us on a mission before."

Pilaf glared at her. "You keep screwing up. I can't trust you two on your own anymore!"

Shu shrugged as they filed into the plane. "Whatever you say, sire."

With that, the top hatch opened up, and the plane flew out into the open.

"Engaging thrusters!" said Shu as he flipped a few switches.

As the plane took off, Shu continued, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Please fasten your seat belts and remain seated at all times."

Pilaf grunted as he was squished up against the window. With all three of them crowded in the front, it was very crowded.

"Forget the seat belts!" he said. "It's too narrow in here!"

"Yeah, it's a little stuffy." said Mai.

Shu looked over at Pilaf, a deadpan expression on his face. "That's 'cause there's one too many in here." he said flatly.

Pilaf glared at him. "What did you say, you stupid dog?!"

Shu corrected himself. "I said I read you loud and clear!"

With that, the plane zoomed off towards their destination.

* * *

**Meanwhile...  
**

Goku, Ukyo, and Bulma were still waiting on the beach for Turtle to return, Bulma scribbling in the sand with a stick while Goku and Ukyo were building a small sandcastle.

Bulma sighed happily. "I get so relaxed when I'm on the beach."

"I can see that," said Ukyo.

"Yeah!" Goku added. "You're not talking nearly as much!"

Bulma was about to retort to that, but then looked out to the sea to see something approaching. "Hey, what's that?" she said. "Whatever it is, it's moving toward us."

Goku and Ukyo stood up and squinted.

"It's Turtle!" Ukyo said excitedly.

"And he's got someone on his back!" Goku said.

Bulma looked at them in awe. "Wow, it's like you've got super-vision or something. Pretty cool, guys."

As Turtle approached, Goku started waving his arms. "Hey, Turtle! Over here!"

The figure on Turtle's back raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't he realize that they're the only ones on the beach?"

Turtle shrugged, before calling to the twins and Bulma, "Ahoy there! Sorry I kept you waiting! I had to get my master!"

Bulma looked at him curiously. "Man, check that guy out."

As Turtle pulled up to the beach, the figure could be seen clearly. It was a short old man with hunched shoulders, a bald head, and a thick white beard and mustache. He was completely bald, wore a pair of sunglasses with red rims, and was dressed in an orange Hawaiian shirt decorated with purple triangles and various letters, white shorts, tan flip flops, and what appeared to be a large purple turtle shell on his back. He had a brown wooden staff in one hand.

The old man raised a hand in greeting. "Well, hello there, kids!" he said.

Bulma nodded at him. "Hi! How's it going?" she said. "Welcome ashore." She looked over him for a minute. "What a cool outfit."

The man smiled at them. "Kids, I want to thank you for helping my turtle."

Ukyo smiled. "It was our pleasure, mister!"

"And we'd do it again, too!" said Goku. The man jumped off of Turtle and onto the beach.

"I'm Roshi, the Turtle Hermit," he said. Bulma tilted her head curiously.

"A Turtle Hermit?" she asked. Roshi nodded before turning to Turtle.

"Which one of these kids helped you?" he asked. Turtle pointed to Goku and Ukyo.

"That little boy and girl right there," he said, with Roshi approaching the twins.

"You're very brave kids," he said. "I have a gift I wanna give you two as a token of my gratitude."

Bulma smiled at them. "Did you hear that, guys?" The twins nodded, while Roshi walked up to the shoreline and held his staff to the sky.

"Come, magic carpet!" he shouted. Bulma's eyes lit up.

"A magic carpet?!" she said excitedly.

Goku looked at her curiously. "What in the world is a magic carpet?" he asked.

Bulma looked at him. "What's a magic carpet? It's a carpet you can sit on and fly anywhere you want!" Her face fell for a minute. "They're not real, though. At least, I don't think they are."

The three looked over to Roshi, who was still gesturing out for the magic carpet... which had yet to arrive.

Turtle looked up to Roshi. "Hey, Master, hold on," he said. "You took the magic carpet to the cleaners, remember?"

Roshi looked to Turtle, letting out a sheepish laugh. "Oh, yeah, that's right," he said. "Good point, Turtle." He stroked his beard in thought.

Bulma rolled her eyes. "I knew it," she said. "They're _not_ real."

Ukyo was disappointed. "Really?"

"Hmmm," said Roshi thoughtfully. "The other option is the Flying Nimbus, but am I really ready to part with it?" He snapped his fingers before turning to the trio. "Why not? If you can ride it, it's yours!"

With that, he held his staff out again and called, "Come to me, Flying Nimbus!"

Goku looked at Ukyo and Bulma. "He's odd."

"He certainly is," said Ukyo.

Bulma shook his head. "He's not odd. He's nuts!"

Roshi looked up to the sky impatiently. "Now where is that cloud?" At that moment, he saw a streak of yellow flying across the sky. "Oh, there it is! About time."

Bulma, Goku, and Ukyo gasped in awe to see a fluffy yellow cloud fly towards them.

"See?" Roshi said proudly. "She's a beauty, isn't she?"

"Wow!" Goku said. "Ukyo, Bulma, look! Isn't it neato?"

Bulma nodded. "Yeah!" she said. "How strange!" The Flying Nimbus came to a perfect stop in front of Roshi.

"Don't be afraid," said Roshi. "She's as sweet as candy."

Goku and Ukyo ran around the cloud in awe. "It's so light and puffy," said Goku.

Ukyo looked at Roshi. "Do you mind if we have a taste?" she asked.

Roshi rolled his eyes. "You don't eat it, you little baboons!" he said.

Bulma turned to Roshi. "What does this thing do?" she asked.

Roshi smiled. "If you manage to sit on this cloud, it can fly you wherever you want."

Bulma raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "There's gotta be some kinda hitch," she said. "You wouldn't be giving it away. Something's wrong with it, right?"

Roshi glared at her. "There's nothing wrong with this cloud!" he snapped.

Goku and Ukyo, however, were much more interested in something else. "Can we try to ride it now?" asked Goku.

Roshi nodded. "Sure. But I must warn you, you must be pure of heart to ride this cloud."

"Really?" asked Ukyo.

"Yep," said Roshi. "Otherwise, it won't let you on it. It's picky that way."

He set his staff down. "Here, let an old man show you how it's done." With that, he jumped up into the air and tried to land on the Nimbus-

-and phased right through it, landing heavily on his rump on the ground.

Roshi fell backwards on the ground, holding his rump in pain, while Bulma started pointing and laughing.

Turtle crawled over to Roshi. "Are you okay, Master?" he asked as he helped Roshi sit up. "You must have done something naughty."

"Be quiet!" Roshi snapped. Ukyo smiled.

"My turn!" she shouted, jumping up and bracing for impact, only to be pleasantly surprised when she landed on the cloud as if it was solid, much to Roshi and Turtle's surprise.

Ukyo let out a happy squee and started dancing. "It works! I did it! Yay!" She looked at Goku. "Hey, Goku, you gotta try this!"

Goku smiled. "Okay!" With that, he jumped up and landed on the cloud as well, right behind Ukyo. With that, he started cheering and dancing as well, grabbing Ukyo's hands and jumping up and down with her in sync.

Turtle turned to Roshi in disbelief. "He did it, Master."

"I'll be damned," said Roshi. "There goes my cloud."

* * *

**Kame House, The Sea  
**

While this was going on, the Pilaf Gang was searching for their Dragon Ball, Shu humming happily to himself as he piloted the plane while Mai and Pilaf searched every which way with binoculars.

"Shut up, Shu!" Pilaf snapped, annoyed with Shu's humming. "Pay attention!"

"Sorry, sire," said Shu. "Is there any sign of the island yet?"

"Negative," said Mai. Pilaf looked forward, and saw their destination.

"Hey, there it is!" he declared. "Take her down!"

"Right away, sire." said Shu. With that, he took the plane down, skimming across the water and parking on the beach. The three exited the plane, and looked over the house.

The house was pink with a red roof, the words "Kame House" printed above the front door in red.

"Wow," said Mai in admiration. "Nice house for a Turtle Hermit."

"Yeah," Shu agreed. "Wonder if he's hiring?"

Pilaf rolled his eyes. "You imbeciles. Let's get on with it. Get that Dragon Ball, and don't you _dare_ screw up!"

"Sire!" Shu and Mai said in sync.

"Now follow me," Pilaf said, making his way to the front door with Mai and Shu in tow.

Laughing wickedly, Pilaf held his nose. "Telegram!" he declared in a nasally tone, causing Mai and Shu to face-fault as he knocked on the door. "Hello?! Special delivery! Telegram!" Getting impatient, he rapped on the door with his knuckles. "Hello! Is anybody home?!"

Getting no answer, Pilaf chuckled. "Good, the place is empty," he said.

Shu looked at Pilaf. "I've got a great idea," he said. "Let's just break in."

Pilaf turned to him. "Break in?" he asked. "I like your style, Shu, but when in the presence of a brilliant mind, there is seldom need for brute force." With that, he started rummaging around in his pockets.

"Now, where did I put that thing?" he said aloud. Not finding it in his pockets, he knelt down, took off his shoes and looked in them, only to find nothing. Finally, he lifted up his hat to find what he was looking for: what appeared to be a small handle.

"Oh, yeah," he said. "Here it is. My universal key is just the thing for this job." With that, he pressed a button on the side, causing a skeleton key to pop out, and stuck the key in the lock.

"We _could_ smash right in," he continued, "but hey, that's not the way I operate." They heard the lock click.

"There, that's it," Pilaf said, withdrawing the key and turning the knob, only to find it still locked.

"Hey, what's the deal?!" he demanded, tugging on the door with all his might.

"Um, Emperor?" came Shu's voice. "This window was open the whole time." Pilaf turned to the window to the left of the door, and indeed, the window was open, with Shu and Mai already in the house.

"I'll open the door," Mai said simply. "Wait."

Pilaf just let out an irritated groan.

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

Goku and Ukyo laughed giddily as they flew through the sky on the Flying Nimbus, even performing several loop-de-loops as they did. After a brief slide through the sea and some more looping, they skidded to a stop in front of Bulma, Roshi, and Turtle, who had watched the whole thing.

"Wow, that was fun!" Ukyo exclaimed happily.

"Thanks! We love it!" Goku added.

Roshi looked at them respectfully. "You two fly that thing like you've had it your whole lives."

Goku and Ukyo just laughed bashfully before zipping off again. After watching them fly off, Bulma turned to Roshi.

"Hey, what about me?" she asked expectantly. "Aren't you going to give _me_ a gift, too?"

Roshi turned to Turtle. "What do you say?" he asked. "Did this young lady help you as well?"

Turtle shook his head. "No, just the younger ones."

Bulma glared daggers at him. "Hey, what about the seawater I gave you?!"

Roshi stroked his beard. "I think I have to side with Turtle on this one," he said thoughtfully, before adding, "but I could be persuaded to change my mind."

He turned to Bulma, sweating and chuckling. "For instance, if you were to let me see your underwear..."

Bulma turned beet-red. "You wanna see my..."

"Master!" Turtle shouted reproachfully. "What are you doing?!"

"You can't be serious!" Bulma shouted as a wave crashed onto the shore.

Still sweating and chuckling, Roshi nodded. Turtle glared at him in disgust.

"Have you forgotten your code, Master?!" he demanded. "Please, that's wrong! Dead wrong!"

Roshi glared down at him. "Oh, shut up, will ya? Can't a master take a break from training and have a little fun?!"

Turtle looked away, muttering, "Now I understand why you couldn't ride your cloud."

"Bite your tongue!" Roshi snapped.

Bulma gulped, grabbing the edge of her nightshirt and blushing furiously. "This is so embarrassing. I can't believe I'm doing this."

Taking a deep breath, Bulma yanked up her nightshirt, exposing her lower half to Roshi and Turtle. Of course, she had no idea that she wasn't wearing any underwear beneath the shirt.

"Ta-da!" Bulma shouted. Roshi let out a yell and squeezed the end of his staff so hard that the top broke off, blood squirting briefly from his nose.

With that done, Bulma turned away in embarrassment, leaving Roshi and Turtle visibly taken aback. "There, done. That's it."

"Oh, my eyes," Roshi said to Turtle. "I'm think I'm blind. I'm gonna faint!"

"It serves you right!" Turtle shot back.

Bulma composed herself and turned back to Roshi, clasping her hands. "All right. So, where's my gift at?"

Roshi snapped back to attention. "Oh, right! The gift! Well, I have one in mind..."

He stopped to think, scratching his head. _Now let's see. I could give her the... no, not that. The wheels fell off. Well, what about the..._

As he was thinking, Bulma took a closer look and finally noticed what was hanging around Roshi's neck.

She gasped. It was a Dragon Ball! That settled it.

"Never mind, never mind!" she shouted, approaching Roshi. "I know what I want!" Roshi turned to her.

"You do?" he asked. "What?" Bulma pointed to the Dragon Ball around his neck.

"That!" she exclaimed. "I want that! That thing right there that's hanging around your neck!"

Roshi pointed to it. "What, this?" he asked, removing it from around his neck and holding it out to her. "You sure you want this old thing? I found it washed up on my island a long time ago."

"It's beautiful," Bulma whispered as she took the ball, looking at it eagerly. _The three-star ball,_ she thought. _I can't believe it! _She looked up to Goku and Ukyo, who were still flying around on the Nimbus.

"Goku! Ukyo!" she shouted, causing them to screech to a halt. "Come here! I've got something to show you!"

"Okay!" Goku replied as they zipped over to her.

"What's up?" asked Ukyo. Bulma held out the ball to them.

"Look! Another Dragon Ball!" she said. Goku took it in his hands, grinning.

"It sure is!" he said excitedly.

"Neat!" Ukyo added, looking the ball over herself.

"Our fourth Dragon Ball," Bulma said ecstatically. Roshi looked at them confusedly.

"A Dragon... what do you call it?" he asked, but Bulma and the twins didn't hear him.

"So aren't you glad we helped the Turtle after all?" Ukyo asked. "It paid off!"

Bulma nodded. "I sure am. You two were right! And now just three more, then wish time!"

"Yeah!" Goku said. "What a great day!"

Roshi looked at them. "What? That thing grants wishes?"

Bulma turned to him, smiling happily. "Thank you! We really love our gifts! You're a kind-hearted and generous man! Thanks so much!"

Roshi shook his head. "I never said you could have the ball!"

Bulma pouted. "But you said you were going to give me a gift. Can I have it, please? Aw, come on!" Blushing, she lifted up her shirt and exposed herself to Roshi again. "There! Huh?"

Blood oozing from his nose, Roshi covered it with a tissue. "Okay, I give up! It's yours! Take it!"

"_YAAAAAY!_" Bulma cheered, dancing and laughing happily as Goku and Ukyo stood there smiling.

With that, Bulma got back on her motorcycle while Goku and Ukyo floated next to her on the Nimbus, as Roshi and Turtle made their way back into the ocean and went off.

"Good-bye, Turtle Hermit!" Goku shouted, waving. "Thanks a lot!"

"See you later!" Ukyo added as they zipped back down the way they came.

"Boy, I tell ya, these kids today," Roshi said to Turtle, "they're like little piranhas! I was lucky to get out of there with my staff and sandals!"

Turtle rolled his eyes. "Well, that's what you get for being such a lecher."

* * *

**Some time later... **

It wasn't long before Bulma and the Son twins returned to the capsule house, the trio disembarking their respective rides.

"Man, I never thought things would be going this well!" Bulma said excitedly as she walked up to the door. "We only need three more Dragon Balls! Guess it was meant to be, kids."

As Bulma entered the house, Goku and Ukyo kicked back and relaxed on the Nimbus.

"If Grandpa could only see us now, Goku," said Ukyo, smiling happily.

Goku nodded. "He'd be so proud of us."

Their restful moment was cut short, however, as a horrified scream came from the house.

Ukyo jolted up. "Goku, I think Bulma's in trouble!"

The two sprang off of the cloud. "Hang on, Bulma! We're coming!" Goku shouted as they bolted into the house.

"What's wrong?!" Ukyo asked. Bulma was standing there, visibly and audibly shaking as she held a pair of panties in her hands... the same panties Goku had removed from her in her sleep earlier that morning.

"M-my underwear was here on the floor..." she said. "I'm afraid to look..." She felt around the outside of her shirt, and her worst fears were realized.

"_**THEY'RE NOT THEEEEERE**__**!**_" she screamed in horror, said scream scaring nearby birds off of their perches outside. Then she came to a horrifying realization.

_That means on the beach... the old man... oh, God..._ She felt nauseous at the thought.

Goku smiled, his arms folded behind his head. "Oh, is that all? Well, that's okay, Bulma! That's right where I put 'em!"

Bulma slowly turned to them. "W-what are you talking about?"

Goku shrugged. "After I took 'em off this morning!"

Bulma whirled around, glaring. "Are you saying you took my underwear off while I was sleeping this morning?! Huh?!"

Goku nodded. "I sure did!"

Bulma held them forward. "_These_ underwear?!"

Goku nodded again. "Yep! They're the ones!"

Fuming, Bulma turned to Ukyo. "Did you know about this?!"

Ukyo shrugged. "He told me before we ran into Turtle. That's what he meant when he said your balls are gone."

"And you didn't say anything?!"

Ukyo shrugged again. "Didn't seem important."

Bulma was outraged. Running over to her pack, she withdrew a machine gun and loaded it.

Goku looked at her. "What are you doing, Bulma?" He didn't need an answer, as Bulma furiously aimed the gun at the twins and let loose with a hailstorm of bullets.

Goku and Ukyo frantically ran around the room, yelping as Bulma fired on them until the clip ran dry.

"What was that for?" Goku asked, bewildered as he stopped and panted.

Bulma glared at them. "Maybe next time, you'll think twice before doing something like that again!"

Ukyo glared back at her, fire in her eyes. Bulma had just enough time to register a look of surprise and fear before Ukyo sprang at her with a cry, punching her in the face with such force that Bulma was sent flying across the room, slamming back-first into the wall and slumping down, her nose bleeding and a dazed look on her face.

"That wasn't very nice!" Ukyo snapped.

* * *

**Kame House  
**

Meanwhile, Emperor Pilaf and his cronies were busy ransacking Kame House for any sign of the Dragon Ball. They looked in the cupboards, in the dresser, under the couch, even in the fridge, but there was no sign of it.

"Damn it, where's that Dragon Ball?!" Pilaf snapped as he finished looking in the living room.

Shu descended the stairs. "It's not in here, sire."

"Or in the kitchen," Mai added as she entered the room. "It's possible that someone tipped him off."

Pilaf scratched his head in thought. "I wonder..." he said to himself. "Wait here!" He dashed out the door over to their seaplane, only to stop when he saw a green alligator with sunglasses lounging on the beach in a lawn chair.

_Maybe he knows something,_ Pilaf thought, approaching the alligator.

"Hey, there," he said. "Nice day, isn't it?" The alligator turned to him, and promptly recoiled in fear as Pilaf drew a switchblade from his pocket, holding it up menacingly.

"You better tell me what I want to know, or I'll make a green handbag out of you!" Pilaf demanded.

"Okay!" The alligator yelped. "Just don't hurt me!"

"Where did this Roshi, the Turtle Hermit, go?" Pilaf asked.

"Master Roshi?" the gator asked, pointing behind Pilaf. "Here he comes now, buddy."

Pilaf turned, and gasped in horror as he saw Roshi approaching on Turtle's back. "Shu, Mai! Get out here!"

Shu and Mai exited the house. Seeing Roshi, Shu drew his sword, and Mai drew her gun. "Keep me covered," Pilaf said as he stood behind them.

Roshi reached the beach and hopped off of Turtle. "I don't think we've met," he said. "Hi."

"Hi," Pilaf said simply from behind Mai. "Now hand it over. The Dragon Ball."

Roshi raised an eyebrow. "What ball?"

"That's right, Needlenose!" Shu said.

"You heard the man," Mai added. "Now cough it up."

Roshi stroked his beard in thought. "Dragon Ball?" he said aloud, before snapping his fingers. "Oh, I remember now! I just gave it to a pretty girl on the beach!"

Pilaf looked at him. "Are you kidding me?"

Roshi shook his head. "Seriously. She wouldn't leave me alone until I gave it to her. She was nuts about that ball because of some crazy wish."

Shu and Mai exchanged glances. Someone else was after the Dragon Balls?

"Doesn't sound good," said Shu. Pilaf pushed his way past the two and approached Roshi.

"Where is that girl?" he demanded.

Roshi shrugged. "I don't know, but I just said goodbye to her about-"

Pilaf cut him off. "She couldn't have gotten too far! C'mon, let's go!" He rushed back to their plane, Shu and Mai behind him, and boarded it.

"Engaging amphibious transformation!" Pilaf declared, and the plane shifted from a plane to a submarine, the wings retracting and a little sub propeller coming out.

Pilaf turned to Roshi. "Excuse me, could you mind giving us a little push?"

Roshi shrugged. "Anything to get you off my island, you blue-faced dwarf." He approached the sub, and tapped it with the end of his staff a few times, knocking a small hole in it.

"Oops!" he said, chuckling, before pushing the sub into the sea. "Bon voyage! Enjoy the bottom of the sea!"

"Thank you!" Pilaf called back as they sailed off.

Roshi chuckled. "Those three deserve the hole I put in their side. Too bad. It was a nice plane."

* * *

**Seconds later...  
**

The sub began to slow down. Pilaf turned to Shu and Mai.

"Shu! Step on it! We're going too slow!" he yelled.

"Aye-aye, sir!" Shu replied.

Unbeknownst to them, water was rushing into the plane through the puncture Roshi had inflicted.

Shu sniffed the air. "You guys smell something?"

Pilaf glared at him. "Well, he who smelt it, dealt it!"

At that moment, Mai felt something wet soak her legs, and looked down in horror to see the sub was filling with water.

Shu, Mai, and Pilaf had just enough time to panic before the plane sank into the sea.

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

Now fully dressed, Bulma pushed a button on the side of the house, causing it to retract back into a capsule instantly. Goku and Ukyo recoiled in shock.

"Now that's what I call house cleaning," Bulma said as she collected the capsule and put it back in its case.

"Don't scare us like that!" Ukyo exclaimed.

Bulma shrugged. "Okay, I'll warn you next time," She looked at the Flying Nimbus as Goku and Ukyo rubbed the bruises on their backs left from Bulma's machine gun. "I guess we'll both have to take the Flying Nimbus. It'll be faster."

Goku looked at her. "But didn't Master Roshi say you have to be pure of heart to ride the Flying Nimbus?"

Bulma glared at him. "What's _that_ supposed to mean? I'm probably the purest person you know!"

Ukyo shrugged. "Okay then," The Nimbus lowered to their level. "Go ahead. Give it a try."

Bulma jumped into the air in an attempt to land on the Flying Nimbus-

-only to fall right through it and faceplant on the ground. Goku and Ukyo chuckled.

"Pure, huh?" Goku asked. Bulma let out an annoyed grunt as she sat up.

"Now my clothes are dirty!" she yelled. "Damn it! I didn't wanna ride that stupid cloud anyway!"

Goku and Ukyo shrugged and zipped off on the Nimbus, while Bulma got on her motorcycle and rode up behind them.

"Kinda slow, huh?" Ukyo asked.

Bulma looked at her with discontent. "Oh, shut up! Nobody likes a show-off, y'know!"

"Whatever," Goku said as the two rode off to their next destination.

* * *

**Elsewhere...**

In the area where they had battled, the Bear Thief sat up slowly, dried blood caked between his eyes.

"Those rotten kids," he hissed. "Well, this ain't over. They'll learn not to mess with the Kuma Mercenary Clan."

With that, he went off into the shadows to plot his revenge.

* * *

**Author's Note:  
**

(1): The Kuma Mercenaries were an enemy class in _Dragon Ball Z: The Legacy of Goku II, _based on the Bear Thief.

Well, another chapter down. Sorry for the long wait.

Yes, the Bear Thief will appear later down the line. I'll give you a hint as to what that will entail: think like the first boss battle of _Dragon Ball: Revenge of King Piccolo._

Next chapter: enter Oolong!

Please R&amp;R. Until next time...


	7. Oolong the Terrible

**\- Chapter 6 -**

**Oolong the Terrible**

* * *

**Dirt Path, Mount Paozu**

Goku and Ukyo laughed giddily as they zipped through the sky on the Nimbus cloud, with Bulma, now wearing a red jacket and sneakers, tan shorts, and a red cap bearing her name, riding behind them on her motorcycle, trying her best to keep up.

Bulma looked up at the twins as they pulled off several tricks. "Hey, you two! Pay attention to where you're going!" she yelled. "You're not invincible, y'know!"

As soon as she said that, Bulma let out a loud scream as she careened off of the dirt path and over a steep hill, landing with a loud crash and falling off of her motorcycle. Seeing this, Goku and Ukyo descended to check on her, seeing her sitting on the ground, the three-star Dragon Ball at her feet.

"Are you okay, Bulma?" Goku asked. Bulma let out a pained groan as she stood up, rubbing her rear.

"Does it _look_ like I'm okay, you twerps?!" she snapped.

Goku shrugged. "No, I guess not."

"You really don't have to call us names, y'know," Ukyo said matter-of-factly as she and Goku jumped off of the Nimbus. It was only then that the twins looked down and saw that the Dragon Ball was glowing again.

"Bulma, look!" Goku exclaimed as he picked the ball up and held it out to her. Taking notice, Bulma's pained expression quickly changed to an excited smile, and she swiped the ball out of Goku's hands.

"You guys know what this means?!" she said excitedly. "The fifth ball is close! This is great!"

"Hey, guys, look!" Ukyo shouted, pointing down the path. "There's a village down that way!"

Goku and Bulma turned, and sure enough, there was a village at the end of the path. "Good eye, kid!" Bulma said.

"You think the ball might be there?" Goku asked.

Bulma rushed over to her bike and righted it. "Well, there's only one way to find out."

With that, the trio got back on their respective rides and sped down the road to the village.

* * *

**Aru Village, Mount Paozu**

Goku, Bulma, and Ukyo passed under the gate, which had a sign reading "Aru Village" attached. They stopped in the center of the village, seeing several dome-shaped houses, but no people. The village was seemingly deserted.

"Where is everybody?" Ukyo asked as she and Goku hopped off of the Nimbus. While she and Goku looked around for signs of life, Bulma reached into her bag.

"Let's see what the radar says," she said, pulling the Dragon Radar out and turning it on. "Yep. The fifth Dragon Ball's here, all right." With that, she put the radar away and looked around.

"It's too quiet," she said. "Maybe this village has been deserted."

Goku shook his head. "No, there are people here. I can feel it."

Bulma turned to him. "Are you sure, Goku? It seems like an old ghost town to me."

Ukyo nodded. "He's right. I can feel it, too."

Bulma shrugged. "If you say so." With that, the trio started looking around.

"Hello?" Ukyo called. "Is anybody here?!"

"Come on out!" Goku added.

"Is anybody home?" Bulma yelled. "Hello?!" Ukyo turned toward a nearby house, seeing someone or something briefly peak out from behind a curtain before ducking away.

"Guys, I think I saw someone at that window over there," she said, pointing.

"This is getting freaky," Bulma said simply.

"There's gotta be a reason why they won't come out here," Goku said. "And I'm gonna find out!" With that, he made his way over to the house Ukyo indicated, the door reading "Sherman Priest."

"Sherman Priest?" Bulma said, more to herself than the twins. "He must be the guy who lives here." Goku shrugged, pounding on the door.

"Hello!" he called as he did so. "I know you're in there!" After a moment of silence, he knocked a bit quieter. "Hello?"

"I hope they're not in some sort of trouble," Bulma said quietly.

Ukyo decided to give it a try. Gently pushing Goku out of the way, she drew back her fist and punched a hole in the door.

"That did the trick," she said, smiling as she pulled the door open.

Bulma rolled her eyes as Goku and Ukyo stepped through the door. "Ever consider using the handle?"

Ukyo shrugged her shoulders as she and Goku crossed the threshold. "Wow, it's dark in here."

Without warning, a figure jumped out from the darkness with a cry, an axe in his hand. Goku had just enough time to push Ukyo out of the way before the axe blade buried itself into his head-

-and promptly shattered into pieces on contact. However, he didn't come out completely unharmed either, a large lump sprouting out from his head.

A split second passed before Goku clutched his head, dancing around and letting out pained yelps as Bulma looked on in shock that he survived an axe to the head.

The lights flickered on, and the figure was now clearly visible, being a balding old man with a thick black mustache and glasses, clad in a dark yellow sweatshirt and blue denim overalls. He dropped his axe in shock.

"Oh, no!" he said. "It's just as I feared. I should've known."

Goku glared at him, drawing his Power Pole as Ukyo stepped forward, equally angry.

"What'd you do that for?!" he snapped. "That didn't tickle, y'know!" Ukyo clenched her fists and was about to attack the man herself, before something they never expected happened.

The man, who was undoubtedly the Sherman Priest mentioned on the door, got down on his knees and clasped his hands in a begging position. "Oh, please forgive me, Mr. Oolong!" he pleaded. "I know it was foolish of me to try to attack you, but I'd rather die than lose my daughter! Please, don't take her away from me! I'll do anything!"

Goku and Ukyo exchanged confused glances before relaxing. "Hold on a second," Goku said. "I think you've got me mixed up with someone else. My name's Goku."

"It's not him, Dad," a young girl's voice added, with all four of the others turning to see a little girl around Goku and Ukyo's age with brown hair in pigtails, wearing a headband with a bird's feather in it, popping up from behind a nearby desk.

Meanwhile, outside, the people were coming out of their houses and crowding around.

* * *

**Some time later...**

Goku sat patiently, Ukyo and Bulma standing off to the side with Sherman, as Sherman's daughter, who's name was Pochawompa (1), wet a white cloth in a bowl of water and wrung it out, carrying it over to Goku.

"This should help," she said as she put the rag over the sizable bump on Goku's head, Goku hissing in pain on contact. "What a thick head!" she said in surprise.

Ukyo turned to Sherman. "Honestly, is this how you normally greet people?" she asked.

"You could have killed him!" Bulma added, glaring at him.

Sherman looked at them with a bit of remorse on his face. "I thought he was Oolong!" he replied. "I was just trying to protect my daughter."

Goku looked over at Pochawompa at that. "Daughter?" he said. "Does that mean you're a girl?"

Before Pochawompa could answer, Goku reached over and patted her area with his hand, Pochawompa recoiling and blushing.

Goku smiled and pointed at her. "Yep, I thought so," he said. "You're a girl, all right!"

Within seconds, Bulma dashed over to Goku and punched him in the back of the head. Goku let out a yelp of pain and turned to glare at Bulma.

"What'd you do that for?!" he demanded. Bulma stomped her foot as she glared right back.

"Guess, Einstein!" she shouted. Almost immediately, Ukyo dashed over to Bulma and kicked her in the shin, Bulma yelping and rubbing it.

"Why, you little..." she began, only to be met with a glare from Ukyo.

"Goku's been hit in the head once already, you big meanie!" she spat. Bulma bit back a curse and took her hand off of her bruised shin, composing herself before turning back to Sherman.

"So what does this Oolong do that makes everyone so afraid of him?" she asked. In response, Pochawompa burst into tears and ran into her father's arms, Sherman hugging her gently before turning back to Bulma.

"He's our worst nightmare," he replied. "He's a blackness that has descended on our village. A monster who treats us like his toys."

Bulma raised an eyebrow. "That bad?"

"Much worse!" Sherman replied.

"How so?" Ukyo asked.

* * *

**Flashback**

A puff of yellow smoke appeared before their village, and a monstrous, green creature with one red eye, three horns, and sharp claws and teeth loomed over them, growling and sending the villagers screaming into their homes.

_"Well, somehow, this terrible creature has the power to change into any shape it wants to!" Sherman explains._

As it loomed over the village, the creature suddenly changed into a monstrous horned pig, a blue reptilian creature with red hair and a forked tongue, and finally a pale-skinned vampire, capturing young girls as it went.

_"Instead of one nightmare, we're cursed by many," Sherman continued. "No one knows his real identity. We just know he wants our daughters. That monster's kidnapped three girls from the village already!"_

_Goku, Ukyo, and Bulma all exchanged looks as Sherman continued his explanation._

_"And yesterday, my darkest fears came true. He wants my daughter, Pochawompa..."_

Oolong, in the form of a monstrous red ogre in a tiger-print loincloth, loomed threateningly over Sherman and Pochawompa, holding a club.

"Today's your lucky day, Sherman Priest!" Oolong declared, his voice booming. "I've decided to honor your house by taking your daughter's hand in marriage tomorrow!" With that, he turned around and stomped off.

"Pack your bag, Pochawompa, and don't worry about the dowry tab!" Oolong said as he went, laughing maniacally and stomping on a house as he went.

**Flashback Over**

* * *

Bulma looked rather impassive, but Goku and Ukyo were visibly disgusted.

"What a bully!" Ukyo spat.

Goku thought for a moment. "Maybe we can trap him when he comes back again." This got him surprised reactions from the villagers.

"How will you do that?" Sherman asked, pulling away from his daughter. "He's bigger than this house! My word, you don't get it, do you? Oolong would squish you like a little bug! There's no way to stop this monster."

The villagers shook in fear from that as Sherman decided to change the subject. "So tell us, why have you three come here anyway?"

Bulma smiled. "I'll show you." With that, she removed her backpack and dug through it until she found one of the Dragon Balls.

"We came to find a ball that matches that one," Ukyo explained, pointing to the Dragon Ball as Sherman took it from Bulma to examine.

"Hmm, strange," he said. "It's very beautiful... but I've never seen anything like it."

"Well, I have," spoke up someone from the door. They turned to see an elderly woman with a cane enter. "Young lady, my name is Grandma Paozu. I have the matching one."

Bulma rubbed her hands together gleefully. "I knew there was one here!"

"Well, how 'bout that?" Sherman said simply.

"Can we see it, please?" Ukyo asked. Grandma Paozu nodded and dug through her pocket, removing a ball identical to the one Bulma pulled out, but with six stars. "Here it is!"

Bulma smiled. "The six-star ball!"

"Cool!" said Ukyo. "Will you give it to us?"

Grandma Paozu shook her head. "I'm not going to give this ball away. It's been in my family for generations."

"Drat..." Bulma said, before an idea hit her. "Would you... give us your Dragon Ball if we could get rid of that Oolong creep, get the girls back, and return your village to a peaceful place again?" The villagers gaped at her in disbelief.

"By yourselves?" Sherman asked.

Grandma Paozu raised an eyebrow. "Now listen, I may be old, but I'm not gullible. How could the three of you defeat Oolong?"

Bulma smiled proudly. "Well, Goku, Ukyo, and I are quite a team, ma'am," she turned to Goku and Ukyo. "Right?" At that moment, Bulma's eyes widened at the sight of Goku patting down Grandma Paozu's area, and the other villagers gaping at him. This prompted an immediate face-fault from Bulma.

Goku pointed at Grandma Paozu. "So you're a girl, aren't you?"

Grandma Paozu turned red and turned away, chuckling. "What a rascal!" At that moment, Bulma quickly darted over and thumped Goku on the head again.

"Are you CRAZY?!" she screamed in Goku's face as he rubbed his head in pain. "_Please_ stop doing that!" She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation, just as Ukyo kicked her in the shin again.

"And _you_ stop doing _that_!" the younger girl snapped as Bulma hopped up and down, rubbing her shin.

One of the villagers outside raised an eyebrow. "Do you think that you and those kids really have a chance to beat Oolong, miss?"

Bulma stopped hopping and relaxed. "Yeah, I think we have a good chance," she replied. "Goku and Ukyo are a little on the puny side, but they pack a wallop," she turned to the Son twins, who were glowering at her. "Don't you, kids?"

"More than you," Ukyo shot back. Bulma shrugged and turned back to the villagers. "I'm Bulma. I'm the brains of the outfit."

Sherman gulped. "Would you forgive me for hitting you? We'd appreciate your help."

"Sure," Goku replied.

Another villager, the man who had spoke up earlier, entered. "There's a legend that speaks of two children who would come to liberate our people, but we always thought it was just folklore."

A younger woman spoke up. "Bulma, it would be the answer to all my prayers if you brought my baby back!"

Another villager, wearing a feathery headdress, came in and took Goku and Ukyo's hands. "You have my blessing, young warriors. Your courage stands like a great monument before my people."

Ukyo smiled, before turning to Bulma. "So, how are we gonna trap Oolong?"

Bulma smirked and chuckled. "I just thought of a great idea."

**-X-**

A few minutes later, Goku came out of the bathroom, wearing a dress and apron similar to Pochawompa's, with a pink-and-red spotted scarf hiding his hair. He was visibly annoyed by the situation as Ukyo stifled laughter.

"All right!" Bulma cheered. "You look great, kid! You'd be totally charming if you smiled a bit more!"

Goku scoffed. "There's not much to smile about. Can't we come up with a different plan?"

Bulma shook her head. "Sorry, no time."

Pochawompa smiled in approval. "Gosh, Goku. You make a really pretty girl." This didn't help Goku's attitude.

"Why couldn't Ukyo do it instead?" he asked.

Ukyo giggled. "'Cause I thought it'd be funnier for you to do it instead."

"Now, remember," said Bulma, "don't blow your cover. He _has_ to think you're Pochawompa. The important thing is to find out where he's keeping the girls. After that, you can handle it any way you want to."

Goku sighed. "Alright, I'll do it. But I'm not gonna like this one little bit."

At that moment, thunderous footsteps sounded, and the room began to shake.

"It's Oolong!" shouted Sherman. "He's coming!"

**-X-**

Indeed, at that very moment, Oolong was stomping towards the village, in the form of the red ogre he had appeared as yesterday, only wearing a fashionable white tuxedo and carrying a bouquet of flowers. The villagers ran screaming to their homes as he approached, one of them running to Sherman's house and opening the door.

"Oolong's in the village and he's on his way here!" he shouted. Bulma nodded.

"Good job!" she said. "Now make sure everyone gets into their houses safely." Goku walked over, and Bulma turned to him.

"Okay, it's up to you," she said. "Good luck."

Goku raised an eyebrow. "Well, since you're the brains of this outfit, you're gonna help me, right?" Bulma simply pushed Goku outside and shut the door behind her, peering through the hole Ukyo had punched through it earlier.

"I'll be right here rooting for you, Goku," she said. Goku and Ukyo both scoffed at that as the footsteps came closer.

"Alright kid, it's showtime!" she said. "Don't let him get a good look at your face, and remember: smile!"

Ukyo looked through the door at her brother. "Be careful, Goku."

Goku nodded at that and turned away from the door. "Next time, _I'm_ making the plan." he grumbled as Oolong finally arrived. Goku made sure to keep his back turned.

"I've come for you, my little buttercup!" he said, his voice deep and booming. "I brought you some flowers. I hope you like them, sweetheart!"

Goku hesitated, then cleared his throat. "I love flowers!" he replied in a high-pitched voice, as Oolong looked at the Power Pole, which Goku hadn't bothered to take off before dressing up. "Packed your rolling pin?"

Bulma looked on nervously through the door. "We should've had him put that down first..." she muttered.

"And I see you've put on a little weight." Oolong continued.

Goku was annoyed, but stuck to the plan. "Yeah, well, look who's talking!" he retorted.

Oolong chucked. "You scamp! A little feisty today, aren't we?"

Bulma gulped. "Goku, where'd you learn how to act?!" she whispered. "If you don't shape up, you're gonna blow this thing big-time!"

"He can handle it," Ukyo whispered. "Just relax."

Oolong smirked and made a hand-horn sign (2) with his right hand. "That's good. I _like_ 'em feisty! I wouldn't change anything on you except maybe that ugly scarf."

Before Goku could say anything more, he felt a familiar sensation and started shaking. _Uh-oh!_

Oolong noticed. "What's this? You're trembling!"

_That's because I need to use the bathroom,_ Goku thought. _Real bad!_

Oolong, of course, thought he was trembling from fear. "You're scared?" he asked, pointing to himself. "Well, I get my feelings hurt by girls that are scared of me!"

"Oh, crap!" Bulma muttered from inside as she looked on, believing the jig was up as Ukyo prepared to charge out to aid her brother.

"No more, that's it!" Oolong shouted, and let out a roar as he was suddenly surrounded by a cloud of yellow smoke. Bulma gasped, and Sherman and Pochawompa held each other in fear as the cloud dissipated to reveal-

-a handsome human man with black hair and a mustache, wearing a white trench coat and holding a top hat and cane. Goku looked up in surprise.

"What do you think of this?" he asked, his voice calm. "Suave, debonair, handsome? If you don't like it, I can always change into something else."

Goku chuckled at that, and at that moment, Bulma came bursting out, hearts in her eyes.

"What the?" Ukyo muttered from inside. "What about the plan?!" Bulma ignored her, while Oolong looked on in surprise.

"Well, hello there, stranger!" she said. "My name's Bulma. I don't think we've met." Goku, for his part, simply fell on his face.

Oolong looked at Bulma. "My, can such beauty be real?" he said. "You must be a dream."

At that, Bulma happily unzipped her jacket to reveal her bust. "Nope! I'm all woman!"

Oolong promptly turned red as he imagined himself fondling Bulma's breasts. _Imagine, if I had a woman like that... ohhhh_, he thought. _Yes. She's a delicious catch if I ever saw one._ Then his thoughts snapped back to his previous choice. _But what about Pochawompa?_

Bulma looked at him, clasping her hands and smiling. "So, when are you gonna kidnap me and take me away?" Ukyo pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

Oolong clenched his fists, visibly shaking from his mental debate. _Oh, I can't just leave Pochawompa, but I'd be crazy to refuse a girl like that! he thought. Pochawompa or the new girl? Pochawompa or the new girl? Pochawompa or the... huh?_ He snapped out of it to notice that "Pochawompa" had disappeared. "Where'd she go?"

Both Bulma and Oolong spun around to see Goku off to the side, urinating on a tree. "What?!" Oolong exclaimed. "Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?" He started running over to Goku. "This must be some mistake! It can't be!" As he got close enough, he saw something he wished he hadn't, and promptly let out a horrified scream, clutching his head.

"I've been deceived!" he shouted. "You're not Pochawompa!" Goku finished his business and turned back around.

"What gave me away?" he asked. "It was my tail, wasn't it?" Oolong glared at him in rage, his eyes turning red.

"If there is one thing I cannot tolerate, it is DECEPTION!" he shouted, and was surrounded in another yellow cloud. When it faded, in the handsome man's place was a giant black bull with red eyes and a nose ring.

"Man!" Goku said in awe. "That's one big cow!"

Oolong laughed. "I am not a cow!" he declared with a slight Spanish accent. "I am a bull! Can't you tell the difference?" As an afterthought, he added, "And I'm a pretty mean one, too."

Bulma placed her hands on her cheeks in shock. "Whoa!" she shouted. "What happened to my polite, handsome, debonair man with the really expensive trench coat?!" She backed up towards the door of Sherman's house. "Excuse me," she said as she entered and closed it behind her.

"This is just too weird!" Bulma exclaimed as Sherman, Pochawompa, and Ukyo looked on.

"That monstrous beast has deceived you, too," said Sherman. "He fools you by changing into the one thing that you want most. And in your case, that's a man. You should be ashamed of yourself!" Bulma just looked at him, dumbfounded, as Sherman sighed in relief and put his arm around his daughter.

"The good thing is, I don't think he wants to marry Pochawompa anymore," he said. "He wants to marry you instead."

Pochawompa smiled. "You'll make a nice bride, Bulma."

Bulma glared at them. "What kind of a girl do you think I am?!" she snapped. "I'm not getting married to a bull, and that's that!"

Ukyo scoffed as she made her way back to the door. "You can sit and bicker all you want," she said. "But I'm gonna help my brother." With that, she opened the door and ran up next to Goku. Oolong glared at her.

"Another one, eh?" he said as Bulma looked out the hole in the door.

"Goku, Ukyo!" she shouted. "The plan's off! It's time to take the bull by the horns!" With that, Goku cast off his disguise and drew the Power Pole, smirking.

"Now we'll see just how tough you really are." he said.

"We're gonna kick your butt!" Ukyo added.

"Don't forget to find out where the girls are!" Bulma called out. "And stay alive, okay?"

"Say your prayers,_ chico_ and _chica_! Your time has come!" Oolong declared, laughing. "You've reached the end of the road!"

Goku stretched nonchalantly. "Smile!" he said, pulling down his right eyelid and blowing a raspberry, with Ukyo doing the same. Oolong stomped the ground in frustration."

"What, are you kids loco?!" he demanded. "There's still a way you can save yourselves! Get the _señorita_!"

Ukyo scoffed at that, bending into a fighting stance. "Forget it, you bully!" she said. "C'mon, let's go!"

"Alright then, so be it!" Oolong declared. "A little monkey boy and monkey girl burrito might hit the spot anyway! Sounds yummy!"

Goku glared at him. "Look, you can't scare us like you've scared everyone else!" he said. "We're not buying it!"

Oolong scowled. "Haven't you noticed?!" he demanded. "You're two little _cucarachas_ with a stick, and I'm a gigantic bull!"

Ukyo shook her head. "Haven't _you_ noticed?" she shot back. "We couldn't care less _what_ you are! Give those girls back right now!"

At that moment, Oolong glanced at a nearby clock and gasped. "Uh, I'll be back!" he said suddenly, before turning tail and fleeing. Goku and Ukyo exchanged looks, confused, before chasing after him.

"Hey!" Goku shouted. "Come back here and fight!"

"You chicken!" Ukyo declared. "Where are you going?!"

The bull exited the gate, and Goku and Ukyo ran out, only to see nothing.

"What the..." Ukyo said. "Where'd he go?"

At that moment, they heard whistling, and turned to see an anthropomorphic pig around their size, dressed in a green Chinese Communist army uniform (3) and a commissar cap decorated with a red star.

"Um, excuse me?" Goku asked, running up to him. "A giant bull just came barreling through here. Did you see where he went?"

The pig pointed to the right. "He went that way."

"Thanks!" Goku said, and the two ran in the direction he pointed.

**-X-**

As they left, the pig smirked. What they didn't know was he was, in fact, Oolong in his true form.

Having had trouble picking up girls despite his cute appearance, Oolong went to shape-shifting school and learned how to do it, using his different forms to terrorize the village. However, he could only hold a shape for five minutes before having to stop and rest, which was why he ran from Goku and Ukyo.

Now, all he had to do was wait...

**-X-**

Meanwhile, Sherman and Bulma exited the house, looking around cautiously.

"You say Oolong ran away?" Sherman asked.

Bulma nodded. "Yeah. I saw him take off, and Goku and Ukyo went after him."

Sherman was awestruck. "Remarkable. What extraordinary kids."

"Yeah," Bulma said. "Goku and Ukyo will chase him a hundred miles if they have to."

Sherman stroked his mustache in thought. "Maybe it's the legend after all..."

**-X-**

Goku and Ukyo came back to the village, having been unable to find the bull.

"Hey, Oolong!" Goku shouted. "We know you're out there! You can't hide forever!"

They passed the pig again, who was still leaning against the fence. "Couldn't find him, huh?" The twins shook their heads as they went back into the village.

"Hey, everybody!" Ukyo called. "He ran away! He might just be hiding, though, so look out!"

Oolong chuckled and checked his watch. _All right, here we go again,_ he thought. _But I better watch it, or these kids could ruin a good thing. If I wanna keep these simpletons in line, I better come up with something really fierce._

He crept along the fence, already having an idea...

**-X-**

Goku scratched his head in confusion. "Hmm..." he said. "I guess he _is_ gone, Ukki (4)."

Ukyo nodded. "Looks like it."

At that moment, they heard a loud yell, and turned to see a giant, robotic entity, holding a bowl of ramen and a pair of chopsticks.

"Looking for me, kids?" The robot asked, laughing. "Did you really think I would run away?"

They took a nervous step backward, and Oolong chuckled. "You seem a little timid this time," he said. "Well, you're lucky, tiny tots, because I'm feeling generous." He tapped the bowl with his chopsticks. "I _was_ going to dunk you in this hot soup and eat you like dumplings, but if you leave town now, I will spare you."

"I think we'll stay," Ukyo said, sticking her tongue out. "So go ahead and eat us."

"If you can!" Goku added smugly.

Oolong growled. "If I can?!" he said. "How dare you-" At that moment, he stuck his thumb in the ramen bowl, burning it. Oolong promptly yelled out in pain and dropped the bowl, clutching his thumb before scowling down at the Son twins.

"Look what you made me do!" he yelled.

Goku raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"We didn't make you do anything, you dummy!" Ukyo said.

Oolong scowled and balled his hands into fists. "Alright, that does it!" he shouted. "Your luck's run out, little runts!" Meanwhile, a little boy was creeping up behind Oolong, slingshot in hand. Oblivious to this, Oolong continued his rant.

"I was going to let you two go because you're not like all the other cowards, but now I have no choice but to destroy-" Oolong cut himself off with a loud yelp of pain as the boy shot him in the back of a head with a rock. He promptly rubbed the back of his head, as the boy's mother ran and snatched him up.

"Johnny, do you wanna get yourself killed?!" she demanded as she ran off. Oolong turned to face her, a tear in his eye.

"You know you've got a real little monster on your hands there, lady!" he shouted as the woman ran back in her house. "Kids these days..." He turned back to face Goku and Ukyo. "Now, where were we?"

"You were just saying you were going to destroy us," Ukyo said matter-of-factly.

Oolong snapped his fingers. "Oh, yeah, yeah, right!" he declared. "Thanks, kid."

"Y'know what, though?" Goku said. "I don't think you're as strong as you say you are." Ukyo nodded in agreement.

Offended, Oolong stomped his foot in a rage. "Listen here, kiddies!" he shouted. "I'm the fiercest, most impolite warrior on the face of the Earth?"

"Yeah?" Ukyo deadpanned. "I doubt it."

Oolong pointed a finger at them. "What makes you two think that you're any match for me?!"

Goku smirked. "We learned karate from our grandpa."

Oolong sweatdropped, but hid his fear. "Karate, huh?" he said. "Well, if you're any good at karate, you can break these bricks with one hand!" With that, he made two piles of bricks, three in each pile.

"That's nothing," Ukyo said as she and Goku approached the piles.

"We can break them apart with one _finger!_" Goku declared. "Watch this!"

With that, they both jabbed the brick piles with their fingers, smashing them apart. Oolong gulped nervously, realizing what he had got himself into.

"Do you know what I do to people who can do that?!" he demanded, before suddenly being surrounded in a puff of smoke. When it cleared, in the robot's place was a giant, magenta-furred bat with a pig-like nose. He laughed maniacally.

"Nothing!" he declared. "Later, sucker!" Goku and Ukyo once again exchanged confused glances, right before Bulma charged out of the house.

"Hey, what are you two waiting for?!" she demanded. "Go after him! If he gets away, we'll never find out where the girls are!"

Ukyo facepalmed. "Oh, right!" She cupped her hands over her mouth. "Nimbus!"

Right on cue, the Flying Nimbus swooped in, and Goku and Ukyo jumped on it and went after Oolong. Bulma smirked as Sherman exited his house, along with Grandma Paozu and the other villagers.

"Amazing!" Sherman declared. "It's our legend that an evil monster would be-"

"-toppled over by two mere children who could dance on the clouds." Grandma Paozu said.

**-X-**

Oolong continued flying, seething over his humiliation.

"Those kids were a royal pain in the keister!" he grumbled. "Too bad they don't know how to fly!" He chuckled.

"Hey, Oolong!" came Goku's voice. Oolong turned, and screeched in fear at the sight of Goku and Ukyo approaching on the Nimbus cloud.

"Where do you think _you're_ going?!" Goku demanded.

"You're not going anywhere, you chicken!" Ukyo added. "Not until you let those girls go!"

Oolong screeched again, and then was surrounded in another puff of smoke before taking off in the form of a rocket. "So long, sucker!" he declared.

"Oh, no you don't!" Goku shouted, taking off after him in hot pursuit. Oolong led them on a high-speed chase across the sky, circling around mountains and through the clouds, before coming to a horrifying realization.

"Oh, no!" he declared. "My five minutes are up!" Right on cue, he was forced to revert back to his pig form, and fell, screaming. Goku and Ukyo quickly swooped down and caught him.

"Hey!" Ukyo said, looking at him. "Goku, it's that pig from before! He was Oolong the whole time!"

Goku glared down at him. "You've been a very bad piggy."

Oolong glared back. "And who the heck are you? My psychiatrist?"

**-X-**

Goku and Ukyo led Oolong back to the village, a rope tied around his waist. The villagers were quite surprised to see that the monster that had tormented them was just a little pig.

"Well, now, porky," Bulma said, "what do you have to say for yourself?"

Goku tugged on the rope. "An apology would be nice."

Oolong sighed. "Alright then. I'm sorry."

Grandma Paozu glared at him. "Now, where's my granddaughter and the rest of the girls?"

Oolong looked down. "They're... home."

One villager raised an eyebrow. "What home?!"

Bulma loomed over him. "Look, pal!" she said. "Your reign of terror is over, capiche? Now tell us!"

Ukyo looked over at her. "Bulma, you're really brave now that Oolong's tied up." At that, Bulma looked away and whistled innocently.

"Okay, okay," Oolong said. "They're at my home."

"Take us there." Ukyo ordered him. "And if you try anything funny, like turning into a bug, forget it. We'll squash ya." Oolong groaned, but nodded, and led them out of the village.

"Where exactly is this shack of yours?" Sherman asked.

Before long, they stopped in front of a large, elegant-looking mansion. "Here's my little shack." Oolong said. Everyone gaped at it.

"Awesome!" Bulma said. "You don't see houses like that every day, do you? What a palace!"

Goku turned to Oolong. "How'd you get such a big place?"

Oolong smirked. "Well, it wasn't easy, kiddo," he said. "I had to rip off a lot of people."

Ukyo scowled at him. "And you're proud of that?" Before he could say anything else, all of the adults in the village charged up the stairs, calling for their kids When they entered one room, however, they were all surprised to see the girls perfectly alright, either doing aerobics, eating, or casually relaxing.

"Oh, hi, Daddy!" A girl doing aerobics said. "What's happening?"

"Sorry I didn't write, Mommy," said a girl relaxing in a chair with a drink. "I've been super busy."

"Me too," said a girl eating at the table. "Man, time has just been flying by."

"Did you find them?" came Bulma's voice, and she, Goku, Ukyo, and Oolong entered behind the adults.

"Hi, girls." said Oolong.

"Hi, snookums!" the aerobics girl said. "Before I forget, I'm totally out of pink lipstick and red nail polish."

"And I need a new hair dryer," said the girl in the chair.

"Did you bring the diet drinks I asked you for?" said the girl at the table. Everyone turned to Oolong, who sighed.

"I was hoping these girls would cook and take care of my house, but they won't," he said. "All they wanna do is lay around." He turned to them. "Take them off my hands. Pretty please?"

While confused, the parents nodded, and Grandma Paozu turned to Bulma. "Well, this belongs to you and those kids now," she said, handing her the Dragon Ball.

Bulma smiled and took the ball. "Wow! You made our day!" She looked the ball over.

_Just two more to go..._ she thought. _And then I can call the dragon to make my wish._

* * *

**Author's Note:  
**

(1): That's how the Dragon Ball Wiki spelled her name.

(2): A hand gesture with a variety of meanings and uses in various cultures. It is formed by extending the index and little fingers while holding the middle and ring fingers down with the thumb.

(3): That's what his uniform is in real life; I mentioned the "Chinese Communist" part for narrative's sake, since I doubt China really exists in the Dragon World.

(4): Goku's nickname for Ukyo. It rhymes with "Yuki."

My sincerest apologies for the ungodly wait. I haven't had much access to the original episodes recently. That, and my mom's passing last year (f$%^ breast cancer) kinda killed my muse. But I'm back now.

Next chapter: Yamcha the Desert Bandit.

Please R&amp;R. Until next time!


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